Post op depression is very common exactly because of how rough the recovery can be. All I can tell you is to be patient. Usually the first three months are the rough part.

To speak about a specific part of this experience: I couldn't really walk capably until week 2, because I was spending most of my time in bed after I was discharged from the hospital. I hadn't done a lot of flexibility-related exercises, and so my hips tended to lock, making getting out of bed and walking very difficult. I didn't end up walking "normally" until maybe 4-6 weeks post-op. It's hard to be patient when it comes to mobility especially, but you will get there. You are still very early on, and the way things look and feel now isn't a good indicator of what they'll look like in a few weeks or months.

For pooping, are you using a stool softener?

Learning how to poop without pushing is really hard! It takes some trial and error, but finding the right dosage of laxative so that you're pooping easily, but not too easily, is rough but necessary. Stool softener is a must, plus hydration and fiber/avoiding foods that stop you up, like really starchy foods. It also just takes longer to get it out, you have to be patient.

On the bright side, if you've ever had issues with hemorrhoids, letting it go without pushing will really help!

You're going through it, but it's still really early. Hopefully the anesthesia side effects are behind you and soon they'll fade into an unpleasant memory

Yeah, I could’ve told you it was really rough. This is why it’s so dangerous to look at people’s pictures and assume that everything is always the same. It’s totally normal to be extremely swollen and bloody at one week postop. For someone to have no swelling or bruising at a week is a freakish and really abnormal occurrence. I felt pretty bad for two weeks and not really like doing very much for two months. You can expect to see residual swelling for several months to even a year, but the good news is the bad stuff goes down within a few weeks to a month or so. Anesthesia can be rough, and it can cause depression. Please talk to your care team, and I’m sorry that you weren’t better prepared.

Girl your gonna be okay. I had my surgery April 23rd on a Tuesday and laid flat on my back without getting up until Sunday, the day I was released.
My first 14 hrs was hard also because of anesthesia but at hr15 that flipped like a light switch and I guess it all wore off and I was myself again but better.
So everyday was about the same after that until the wee hours Saturday morning like 3am when I couldn't poop either. I didn't have the traditional gauze packing inside me. I was given a new technique of an inflatable bladder. It looked like a cucumber 🥒 that they put a regular condom on or more like a Magnum condom on and once inside me they filled it with saline and filled it they did. When I woke up this is what I felt, nothing but this pressure inside me. Well it's so filled up that it literally pinching off the rectal exit. I couldn't even force a farther out. They kept telling me try to pass gas if you can but don't push or push to hard. 🤔Really... how am I going to do that?

Well long story short Fri morning after breakfast I was given laxatives so to maybe loosen things up from pain meds and prepare me for leaving on Sunday. Bad bad mistake. This is where the worst pain of the whole process came into play. On Saturday am around 3am is when the gas cramps went into full on torture and I was screaming and crying out loud and to the point of they sedated me. I told them screaming that pain medication isn't going to help I need you to stick to vent tube in my A$$ hole so I can fart for like 30sec long Fart. And that's all I remember as the whatever went into my iv kicked in.

I call foul. Lol yeah they didn't have to put up with me crying until my Dr came seen me at 9am but when I woke up the problem was still there. So then I'm thinking they've basically torture my A$$ for 4hr without me knowing it.

Anyway Dr said absolutely not we can't put anything in you butt hole < exact words as he laughs because it will cut into your new vagina so if you need to push some go ahead.

Well at that point but hours ago before all the crying do they think I didn't already try that. To the point I push out hemorrhoids.

It wasn't until I talked them into letting me take off the air compression things on my legs to prevent clotting where I could at least roll on my side and let gas escape, omg finally I had the most beautiful longest loud FART that was better than any orgasam I've ever had, ( only at that moment) lol you can only imagine how good it was for just like that my pain was gone.

This must have been the closest thing to labor pain and giving birth we can experience and in fact I was told by a couple of my nurses and my sister in-law that what I went through is worse that child birth. They experience both.

Okay skipping to Sunday release day hopefully 🤞

Dr and my lovely assistant Beth. Comes in 9am and this is the day we wait for. The bandages all come off all the tubing comes out and so does this balloon that's literally been a pain in my p a$$ both of them. He pulled vacuum on it and said start taking deep breaths, in/out he starts wiggling it side to side then a little pulling out then side to side and this went on for almost a minute and then I heard a suck noise where the seal had broken loose and he said now breathe and you'll fell psi and yep I did and it shot right out of me and I said watch out I'm fixing to sh!t on you, only warning ⚠️.

It all felt so wonderful after all that.

Next was a hard part that your also talking about that I never seen coming.
Dr. Said Emily let me tell you what's next. I am giving the ok to let you go today but the hospital has set rules you have to do before they will release you. You must be able to set up on your own get up out of bed, walk to the bathroom all on your own pee twice and take a shower all on your own without falling. If you fall you try it again tomorrow no second chance today or in a day. I said okay. He said no listening to me. I no you think you can do this but I've seen many before you fail. If you feel like you are going to fall just set down somewhere. That doesn't count as a fall.

Let me tell you I could not stand up without feeling like I was standing on nails in a board. Yes I no exactly what that feels like also. Lol

I stood up and within 2 seconds new I was getting ready to fall and had to set back down.
This process started at 9am and I finally accomplished it all by 3:30pm and was discharged by 4:30. I honestly didn't think I was going to get out that day. And when I got to my rental apartment I was sick to my stomach, I felt like crap and this is probably how you are feeling. I just hit my bed and slept it off until next day and just like that I was fine and life is fine I am home finally dilation is going great and I am loving life and so will you. I'm 56yo and have not one regret and would do it again tomorrow.

I wish you a speedy recovery hun and hang in there, it's going to be ok. Mine was bloody and bruises also but trust me at the 10th day when you learn to dilate she's going to be pretty. It's going to be stinky for a bit. Mine smelled like horrible onions of all things 🤢🤮 and I could literally smell myself in fresh clothes just out of the shower to go for my Dr visit, I felt like everyone around me could also smell me. So you've got this to deal with also, but it will pass. Mine stop smelling like this after all the flesh healing gunk did its thing on the inside at around the 4 week mark . I would douche after dilating 2 times with soapy solution then 2 times clear water. Every time. And you could see the nasty stuff come out in the shower then at 4th week it was no more. The bad smell became good smell and then to now a pleasant surprise smell.
It's a process so bare with it ok, you will make it through it. You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to. Ok.

I am telling you your gonna have zero regrets hum.

I hope you found conform in this long book.

Speedy recovery 🙏

Hug's Emily 🤗

Anyone with the side-effects would feel the same way. Post op nausea/vomiting sucks and seeing things in such a state can be a lot.

Even knowing that post-op depression is a thing, and being ready for it doesn't make it any better. I'm not sure if you're still at hospital, or in a recovery center, or back at home, but if you're being taken care of by a caregiver, mental health is (ideally) something they can help with.

Speaking from experience, I spent the first few days laying down and wasting all my time online for 14hrs/day. It eventually got to me and I said to my caregiver, "I'm feeling depressed. Can we come up with a plan together?" She setup a reading nook, and rented a musical instrument that I like to play. Even though I was basically laying down doing those activities, going to different rooms and adding variety helped me a lot. I also asked her to help me sponge bath every day even though it wasn't strictly required. Feeling clean helped my mental health. My point is not to do these things, but that if you have someone who can help you come up with a plan, it might be worth having a conversation with them. Mental health help is just as important as physical help during recovery. Again, not sure exactly your situation, but a friend, if possible, could help with these things too.

I couldn’t walk properly for almost 3 months ! It’s a long process and it’s completely unique to everyone. It does get better though :) it just takes time ! You had the surgery for a reason and some day you will be happy you had it . Trust me . I’m sending you all the positive vibes and best wishes ❤️ Much love !

Girl I totally get it about the pooping. Losing the ability to go to the bathroom is so hard. All I can tell you is that with enough laxatives and/or stool softeners it will come right out.

I battled with it on and off for about the first five weeks. Now it finally feels like everything down there is working normally again, and it's great.

You will get there!