Title says it all. Today I sized up to the #2 dilator and it was really rough. After 10 minutes I start trying to take it out and it won’t budge. It won’t twist, nothing. Does anyone know what I can do? I’ve pulled as hard as I can without it ripping open my stitches. I’m in so much pain and I’m really scared.
Also for next time, how can I prevent this????
Okay, first you need to relax, because tensed-up pelvic muscles won't help. Just remember that you can get it out, it's not up there forever. Try to relax your pelvic muscles as much as you can (seriously, pretend you're just letting a big fart out.) Try to gently rotate the dilator side-to-side to see if you can get it to break free -- if it does break free, keep rotating it while you pull it out.
If this doesn't work, try gently laughing or going "Huh! Huh! Huh!". This will contract the pelvic muscles that can help push the dilator out (I've sneezed one out before, same muscles.)
I looked at your post history and see that you're almost a month post-op. At this point your incisions (and stitches) are not going to be as fragile as you probably think they are, so you're less likely to tear anything open. That's not to say you shouldn't be careful still, but that you can very likely try a little harder to get it out and still not damage anything. I have had a few occasions where I thought the dilator was stuck and it felt like it would start to hurt if I pulled any harder, but giving it juuust a little more force got it to pop free without actually hurting me. This is why I recommended trying to rotate it first though, since this is less likely to really pull at a lot of skin if there are dry areas stuck together.
In the future, use more lube. Seriously. You're going to go through a lot for the first couple months no matter what, so don't be stingy just to try to conserve it. Also use good lube without glycerin: glycerin is what makes water-based lube get thick and sticky after a few minutes. Slippery Stuff Gel is a great water-based lube that's pretty affordable (32oz for about $23 on Amazon) and doesn't get thick and tacky after a few minutes. I mostly use that, but I'll also add a few drops of Sliquid Sassy to make it even more slippery. A lot of lube is especially important when you're sizing up to a bigger dilator, so be generous. I just went up to the big orange #4 dilator, so I've been using a ton of lube the past few days myself.
You might also try a lube shooter : it's a plastic syringe thing with a rounded end. You fill it with lube, insert it into yourself, and then squirt some lube inside . This prevents it from being pushed off as you're inserting the dilator. They're like $6 on Amazon, but you can find them at most adult stores.
I'd also highly recommend practicing Kegel/pelvic floor exercises . This will help your recovery, but also teach you to have better awareness and control over your pelvic muscles. That can make a huge difference when you're dilating, and it's likely why I found moving up to the largest #4 dilator to actually be the easiest size increase (my surgical hospital has all their post-op trans women see a pelvic physical therapist a few times.)
This is very very helpful, thank you. As for the lube thing, I was absolutely not being conservative with the lube. It was completely covered because I knew this would be a difficult step up. But still it didn’t help.
I ended up trying to push it out and that helped for like an inch of it and then I tried to twist it for a while and eventually it budged and I got it out. But I would like to never encounter this again. I will definitely try the kegels!!!!
If it happens again try a long soak in a warm bath.
I read that I wasn’t allowed to submerge into water until four months post op/until the stitches are dissolved and everything is healed
It shouldn't be four months. Stitches take around 6 weeks to dissolve, and that's when most post-op patients can take a bath again. The Thai surgeons may be different, but somehow I doubt they're using different suture material. The bigger issue isn't so much the stitches dissolving as it is preventing infections from the water (which is actually more of a problem with public pools and hot tubs than your own bathtub.) Anyway, you should be okay after 6 weeks, but that's your call.
It can be difficult to prevent the lube from being pushed off when you insert dilator. This seems to be more of a problem earlier on, because it happened to me less with the #3 and #4 dilators than it did with #1 and #2 (I have the SoulSource ones.) As you get used to dilating and your swelling goes down and things heal more, it gets easier to dilate and this sort of thing doesn't happen as much. You really might consider getting a lube shooter then, or at the very least maybe squirt some onto your finger and insert that before dilating to get more lube in there. I also got in the habit of putting an extra blob of lube right at the tip of the dilator before I put it in.
Thanks for the bath advice. Will take it into consideration.
My surgeon said that my stitches inside my vaginal canal won’t dissolve until 4 months post op...?
I am currently doing the extra lube blob on the tip and I try to be as relaxed as possible but it doesn’t work! I think I’m developing some granulation tissue about 1” deep in my vagina that’s making entry very painful so I’ll have to do something about that. I’ll try the finger method next time. Thanks.
It turns out there are some types of suture material that can take a few months to dissolve. I wasn't aware of that. While I still think it's a little ridiculous to wait that long (your incisions will long since have healed), I think you should do what you think is best as far as baths go.
You might want to see if you can spot any granulation tissue. If it's only 1" in, you can probably see it with a mirror. It'll be bright red. That's something any gynecologist can remove quickly with silver nitrate. You might see about getting it removed before it gets any worse.
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My incisions were healed by 5 weeks post-op.
Ok, thats not going to help for another three months then.
Hey I use a "base gel" that's used in ecography studies, and a slippery, liquid "intimate gel". Both works fantastic. Also put extra lube in the tip. Seems we found the same solution!
The ecography gel prevents the lube to getting dry (my theory), and this time I skipped the gel... Very bad idea. Months ago tried slippery aloe vera gel, direct from the plant. Worst idea, it triggered an allergic reaction.
Happy to see someone else found the same solution ;)
This happened to me when I tried not using a condom with water-based lube and coughing got it out on the first try. Sneezing/coughing in general tends to result in rapid ejection of dilators.
Not too long ago I sneezed one out. I took my hand off it just for a second, to change a song on my phone. A sneeze hit right then, and the dilator shot out a good 10". It didn't feel great, but it was so funny I couldn't stop laughing for a solid five minutes.
A week later I had an appointment with my pelvic physical therapist. I told her what had happened, and her response was to crack up and ask me how much distance I got. xD
I’ve never heard of the condoms idea. Can you just use any condom? And that’ll help prevent it from getting stuck?
Suporn has patients use them, I think just for hygiene reasons because of the tap water in Chonburi. It does make a huge difference for preventing that weird vacuum/squeegee effect that can happen trying to get them out, and also aids in checking depth. I used unlubricated ones to be more body-safe (I've heard the lube in prelubricated condoms is a little questionable), but any will work unless you're using an oil-based lube which will weaken/break latex. I used them all the way until I switched to coconut oil for that reason.
Never heard of coconut oil for lube but it sounds great and I’m sure your pussy smells like island waters 👌🏻 I will look into that
I’m gonna try using some condoms that I have even tho they’re lubricated because I’d rather risk it than rip my vag open.
It's kind of unbelievable how much less "clinical" and unpleasant it feels when there's a nice coconut scent when you're dilating haha. That and using a gentle natural soap that smells nice to clean up makes it unbelievably less of a chore. It's pretty common (and recommended in our care guide) but I don't think you're supposed to switch until the graft has totally healed (for Suporn, around 3mo). At that point you can phase out douching too since that's mostly for flushing out lube, which is a nice bonus.
Chettawut actually forbade me from douching which I was confused about. I wish I did have to douche though because I’m tired of this lube goop seeping out constantly :/
I will definitely try this, thank you!!
Call your doctor imidietly
He’s in Thailand.
Ive read about this before, but can't remember the details. I think it took her an hour to get it out.
Try this search
dilator stuck site:susans.org
I think I heard using a condom can make it less likely to get stuck.
As a doctor I would say go to ER. They deal with this all the time when people get things stuck.
I'm glad to hear you got it out :) as others said, condoms are great for this longer-term. For the first 3-4 months post surgery I used them every time I dilated after I got the dilators stuck a few times, and it's a world of difference. Every time I dilated before then my dilator got stuck, and afterwards it never did. Once I switched dilators and lube (I use the XL soul source and coconut oil right now) that mostly went away, though.
Are there any particular condoms you recommend? My surgery is coming in a few days and I could use the information for science.
I went to Suporn and the condoms they give you by default were good enough for me. Just make sure they're as plain as possible (AND UNRIBBED. I made this mistake. Learn from my stupidity). After I got back to the US I got a 100 pack of these lifestyle ultra thin ones in a yellow package (ultra thin?) and they worked fine, though they're a little looser on the dilators it wasn't much of an issue for me. sidenote: US condoms are really cavernous compared to Thai ones.
Thanks. I am going to Chett and afaik he doesn't give us any condoms!
Ah. I'm not sure if the brands are the same but the Suporn ones are a dark green. VISA is on them or something. Good luck :) I hope the surgery goes well!
Thanks, dear. I am honestly more worried about getting there than the surgery itself. I never traveled to another country, and I never stayed in a hotel. So many new things at once!
It just happened to me 30 minutes ago. I was terrified, hence, more tense.
Just thought using only 1 lube, a very slippery one, instead of a "base gel" + the slippery/liquid one. Usually I mix both but this time "oh, what if I try this only? It takes time to cover the dilator with both..."
Result: STUCK. NO.EFFING. MOVE. Good please not NOW!!
Well I thought of calling hospital if in 10 minutes this thing isn't OUT OF ME. Gladly after 15 panicking spinning/pulling minutes, managed to get it unstuck. So, conclusion was: using base gel (the also water based cheap neutral one used in ultrasound ecography) with the slippery intimate lube is the most efficient mix for my case. Add extra lube in the tip.
My blood pressure went down and my head felt so cold, it was FEAR. But eventually that stent is out now. The liquid only, could've getting dry inside, and that's why it got stuck.
The ecography gel is more dense, but adds more water, and that's why the liquid one doesn't dries inside. Both are the best mix I've found.
Never will use the liquid one alone... Never. Ever. Also noticed that in this session, the larger dilator was difficult to slide, but didn't got my attention....added lube, and get it into. Took double time than before. Then holy crap!!! The terror!
So if you found any dilator is getting difficult to enter, almost be sure it'll get stuck later.
Just think about it for future preventable nightmares!
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