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I totally feel for you on this. Perfection is always the goal. And when you can’t reach that ideal it feels like everything you did was for nothing. I think I’ve had some pretty okay results from FFS and SRS. Neither were exactly what I wanted. I honestly wish we had a Ghost in the Shell/Altered Carbon type of thing going on where gender dysphoria could be eliminated through consciousness transference into a body of our choice. Sadly, we aren’t anywhere near the ability to do that yet.
Negative self-comparison is a real thing that we all should be more aware of. I linked a short article below.
Feel better.
As another botched woman here, please do not with the “perfection is the goal” but some fall short BS. There is a bell curve of “realism” with these things, much as there is variation in natural vaginas. You can tell the hints of the artist being Rembrandt or Vermeer, but at the end of the day their art imitates life. Some of us end up looking more like a Picasso, downstairs at least, and the people who tell us it is imperfect or unnecessary to consider are doing nothing more than throwing gas on the fire we feel is consuming us.
There is zero accountability across the board, and zero incentive. We need girls who have had good results to check their own luck a little and step in, rather than step back, because that is the only way things will EVER change.
As for my darling, the OP. PM me and we can at least chat. I know this all too well.
Apparently the second sentence I wrote in my comment above was the only thing anyone read.
I was just trying to help the OP.
Evidently I just succeeded in triggering everybody.
Sorry?
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I do agree with you. Many rush into having surgery of any kind as if its a do or die scenario. Personally speaking, I didn’t finish fully transition surgically (FFS 2015/SRS 2019) until I was 34. I started HRT and social transitioning at 19 in 2004. I had a lot of time to think about what I was doing. I tend to think that because I had so much time where I felt like I was in limbo, I was able to make more informed decisions on who I chose for my surgical care rather than jumping in at the first choice.
I’m not going to pretend to be a mental health professional. The only advice I can give is what worked for me. If that works for somebody else that’s great. If it doesn’t thats also equally as wonderful.
As a side note, I would be curious to see satisfaction rates amongst people who fully transitioned within the first five years of their transitions compared to someone else that had surgery after 10+ years.
It bothers me how many posts show up on this sub with regards to how authentic something looks as opposed to just being happy with what we have.
In any case, I was just giving my perspective on what might help the OP. That was my original and only intention.
The “rush into surgery” argument is hurtful, misleading, and irrelevant. This is about the quality of the work and the competence of the aftercare particularly when there is a need for additional surgical procedures, not about when you had the procedure in the course of your own life.
When one door closes, another opens. There are people who care about your well-being and happiness much more than how your vagina looks like. Now you have to find those people. Having a good result doesn't always make one happy. See the post yesterday. The girl felt so unhappy that she had to cut herself. But if you find those people who can accept you, then probably you'll tell yourself "see, I'm acceptable. And those people are the evidence". And then you will believe it, and be a little bit happier :)
A highly emotive topic and one where there is no right answer. Just be supportive and prepared to listen.
Maybe you could keep trying. Many surgeons do revisions. Taking a few photos and asking a number of surgeons what they could do may be an idea. There may be the possibility to do skin grafts, etc. Surgeons like Bluebond-Lagner, Wittenberg or Bowers may be an option. It would not be a complete re-do of the canal so it may be affordable. Here may be more.
And all surgeons had results where people were not happy, also with Suporn. There can be the possibility that things do not turn out as expected. A number of people have a revision later, and it could have happened with every surgeon.
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