I was required I go off all HRT two weeks before my VFS surgery.

Rather than argue about how I was taking a bioidentical E2 via injection and not swallowing my estradiol and that Progesterone's half life is measured in hours... I decided to turn it into an experiment and document what I would go through.

What I expect to happen

My Testosterone was measured just the month prior and was at 15 ng/dL which is on the lower end of what women have. I know enough endocrinology that going off HRT after three years on HRT is much more about the lack of E2 and sex hormones in general and not some great T revival. I expect my T to rise every single day, but because of the slow growth curves (see papers on males who get off T supplements) by the time I can start HRT again it will still be in the cis female range.

Some anecdotes I found searching include people say nothing happened to them and others say it was miserable.

Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect, but if anything I was expecting some menopause type symptoms from the lack of sex hormones in general.

Week 1

I took my last shot of Depo Estradiol .7ml three weeks prior to surgery. The first week was normal as always. I continued taking Progesterone.

Week 2

I didn't take a shot this week and I stopped taking Progesterone.

I could have taken a final shot the night before and still claimed that I had not taken any HRT in the two weeks leading up to surgery, but that sort of invalidates the point of the experiment and felt like cheating.

The depo estradiol from week 1 would be in my system at low, but not zero levels for at least one more week and the idea of slowly going off E2 as it all was used up is much better than going cold turkey like if I had suddenly stopped taking pills.

Symptoms!

By the end of the second week I was waking up with erections and I had a male sweat from my right armpit.

Week 3

Going into the third week for three days straight I had a headache.

Then because constant headaches are not so bad the third week my list of symptoms grew

• Waking up with an erection happened daily now
• Aches and pains all over in my joints, muscles, neck, etc
• mild headache on and off, not as bad as the first three days though
• Constant nausea
• Zero appetite, energy, or libido
• Unable to nap even though I feel completely tired and feel like I have been awake for days
• Forgetful
• Sweating
• Hot flashes (thank god it was summer and I could stand in front of the air conditioner)
• Body temperature changed. Before at night with the AC I would need a blanket, but now I was still hot and sweating at night with the same temperature.

Looking through my phone data on my sleep I discovered that the last two weeks before surgery my daily sleep went from ~6 hours down to only ~3 hours.

By the end of week three, I was pretty much not okay. Between the constant headaches and nausea, I was ready to be done. I was also starting to get really depressed. I don't know if the depression and suicidal thoughts were the same as how I felt pre-HRT or if it was from just everything, but it wasn't nice.

But then the biggest shock was that I noticed that my bra which used to be tight in need of replacing was now too big. Measuring I discovered I had lost almost a full cup size down to being snug in a 34D to being snug in a 34C.

Things that didn't change

• My sexuality didn't revert to what it was before
• While I knew scientifically my T wouldn't dramatically rise (still well within cis female levels) even if I didn't get blood work it was still reassuring that my testicles stayed the same dimensions.
• Sorry with zero energy / libido I didn't remember to see if my orgasm swapped back to a male orgasm which was one of the things I was curious to check.

An open question I have is how much did the inability to sleep contributes to how I felt and if I had taken something to help me sleep if this 3rd week would have been much more tolerable.

Starting HRT again

After coming home from surgery I restart HRT that afternoon. By the end of the next day my headaches, nausea was gone, and my male scent disappeared within a day or so.

By far the most shocking thing was within an hour of my first dose my female ability to smell returned like a freight train. Over the previous few weeks, I had not noticed how much sense of smell I had lost. Like a mini version of what it was like the first time this happened, I was noticing how every single thing in my house smelled for a few days before it tapered off. The first few hours were absolutely intense, but I couldn't make a noise or say anything because the first three weeks after VFS you have to be silent.

3 weeks later even with losing 6lbs, my breasts are back to the size they were before going off HRT.

Thoughts

The third week was when everything got miserable and if I had taken a shot at 2 weeks out as my "last hormone dose", the overall experience would have been very tolerable.

Post series

This is one entry in a series of posts drawn out of notes and journal entries. A link to all of the posts can be found in my transition journey .