Dilating Width problems twelve days in

14
u/transinthesouthpod
Sun Oct 25 19:11:37 2020 UTC
(12 comments)

For some reason I’ve come out of surgery with plenty of depth 6 1/2+” and I’m having no real problem maintaining that. My problem is that I’m using a Soul Source purple at what appears to be about 1 1/8” diameter and I’m finally after 6 days just starting to get used to having it in for a half hour x3.

Tomorrow I’m supposed to start 15 min x4 on the purple and 15 min x4 on the blue at 1 1/4”. I’ve tried it a couple of times and it feels very painful. 15 minutes 4 times a day sounds excruciating to me.

The problem is the dilator is squeezing my tissue between the dilator and the pubic bone and at 1 1/4” it really hurts.

I learned with the purple one that removing it and adding lube and reinserting it tends to make things much better.

My question is, will the blue one get better too? Has anyone else had this issue? I really want to be diligent about dilating but a lifetime of this pain sounds discouraging.

If it makes a difference, I’m gay so there are no penises in my future, only fingers and toys.

Thanks for any help. I really do mean for this to work and if it means terrible pain then it does; but I’d rather it didn’t.

all 12 comments


7
u/IsVicky
Sun Oct 25 20:54:46 2020 UTC
(1 child)

You are 2 weeks in, things are still swollen and its going to be uncomfortable.

Are you being sure to insert your dilator straight in? Not "curving" it in to make it more comfortable?

Lube the shit out of it! Get half in, and lube it up some more, don't be stingy early on, later you can use next to none, but now make sure that thing is slick, also if you are still having issues, try a lube injector, works wonders early on.

As far as moving up sizes, I found it easier to dilate with a smaller size for a couple minutes first to get everything all lubed up and loose, then move to the larger one.

Don't worry it will get better and before you know it you will be down to a time or two a week and forgetting to do it, hang in there!

6
Sun Oct 25 20:57:54 2020 UTC
(0 children)

Also be sure to rotate your dilator a quarter turn back and forth!

6
u/DesignedLotus
Sun Oct 25 20:55:55 2020 UTC
(1 child)

I had the same problem. It took months to actually get to the blue, like 7 or 8 months. It was really painful to increase the width and the pubic bone is what limited me from being able to do orange. Depth was no problem for me either.

It was hard for me to be diligent on 3x a day for 50 minutes each. It cost me but the pain was really bad trying to get comfortably to the blue. I would be sore after and the next session would be worse, then i ended up skipping days.

After a year when i actually was able to put in the time again i can now start with the blue and then go to the green. I know it would be easier at this point if i was able to commit sooner, so my advice is to really try to push through it.

Switching to coconut oil was a game changer for me too

3
OP
Sun Oct 25 23:26:25 2020 UTC
(0 children)

Thank you. This was helpful.

4
u/iSqueam
Sun Oct 25 21:19:10 2020 UTC
(1 child)

When I upgraded size, three weeks later, it was REALLY hard at first. I’d sweat. It was tight and sore. There was still discharge.

Now, 4 months on? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Keep at it, and it will absolutely be worth it. It gets better never rang so true.

1
OP
Sun Oct 25 23:29:03 2020 UTC
(0 children)

Well good this is what I’m hoping. I can abide the pain if I have a feeling there’s a goal, and that the pain of the blue one will become less over time. Thank you.

3
u/ZestyChinchilla
Mon Oct 26 01:52:26 2020 UTC
(0 children)

The problem is the dilator is squeezing my tissue between the dilator and the pubic bone and at 1 1/4” it really hurts.

This is more of an issue with a lack of lubrication. I would suggest finding a "lube launcher" and squirting in some lube before you put the dilator in. They're just big, blunt, rounded syringes designed to get lube inside you, and they can be found on Amazon for a few bucks. Most adult/porn shops carry them too. It helps quite a bit.

3
u/notyourdonut
Mon Oct 26 03:25:55 2020 UTC
(0 children)

Check with your surgeon if it's a suggested schedule or they want you to adhere to it. My doctor said to process as I felt comfortable.

Moving up is always difficult. When I do it I try to just apply constant light pressure and just watch something on tv or my phone. As long as I hit full time with the smaller size, I don't worry about the depth of the larger at first.

5
u/nataliaorfan
Mon Oct 26 01:20:44 2020 UTC
(2 children)

Wait, am I missing something? You're on the blue one 12 days after surgery? That seems super early to me, usually people take weeks or months to get to that size. I'm confused as to why you're going so wide so early. I think you should be increasing width at a much slower pace; that way it should be easier.

1
OP
Mon Oct 26 01:28:31 2020 UTC
(0 children)

I’m going there bc my doctor’s office said to. I’m pretty much sticking to my Doctor’s orders to the letter.

1
u/SarahMerigold
Sun Oct 25 19:36:02 2020 UTC
(1 child)

If youre at great depth and can maintain that you should be ok.

2
Mon Oct 26 03:18:11 2020 UTC
*
(0 children)

What do you mean by ok? Ok for fingers?

For anyone who is looking for penetrative sex with a penis or standard toy, purple won't cut it regardless of depth.