Post-op dysphoria with Kathy Rumer results

146
u/ta4DrRumer
Sun Jan 3 18:08:17 2021 UTC
*
(37 comments)

So I went back and forth on this for a bit. I have already vented here about what I thought about the "good" doctor and her practice. However, I feel as though it didn't covered the full extent of the dysphoria with her results.

Yes, I can't sit with out my vaginal lining pressed against my underwear (which has caused the skin to thicken and discolor) or the fact that my underwear is bloody after standing around for 6 hours . No, my main issue with the result of her surgery that has to do with when I get aroused. As a result the attached images are of a lewd nature considering the fact they contain a dildo for explanatory purposes.

When I get aroused, I am beyond embarrassed...and here is why. The area surrounding the urethra expands outward by a good 1/2" (12mm) and swells to 3+ it's normal size pushing the skin to the sides. there is a little pre-cum that comes out, it is mildly painful, and I am dysphoric to even touch the area because of how abnormal if feels and looks. Additionally, when I'm in this state, there is a node of tissue under the skin up and to the right of my clitoral hood that also swells to the size of a ping-pong ball and is a noticeable internal distention.

I've noticed, that If I go more than a days without dilating and then have a partner or use an dildo with ridges, I turn into a bloody mess. I pretty much have the experience of my hymen being broken every time I peruse intercourse. There is nothing quite like the fact that you need a tampon just to keep from soiling your underwear every time you want to have a little fun with what you paid for.

While I know some women are ok with their results from her, however, I'm one of the ones she's botched. She flat out told me that she does not do revisions before canceling my remaining check-ins. Since my last post several people have reached out to me about how she has done revisions for them, often after it became a legal issue, and encounter more post-op complications.

If you still want to sing her praises, let her work on you, or are comfortable with the dice roll of having similar after seeing what she did to me, than by all means do what feels best for you. However, if you are appalled by these results as I am, then please share this. Please don't pity me because of my results, I'm going to get her fixed by a more competent surgeon. Just spread this like wild fire to any of your friend who are thinking about getting surgery. The more our community is informed about the results they can expect from this "surgeon" the better off our community will be.

https://preview.redd.it/2odqrefe3vec1.jpg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a15d9a230304b5ad61010c1c2836b8386efc255d

https://preview.redd.it/l75t1mfe3vec1.jpg?width=3480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a007edcb6fa362c5196a44119d0a31eb88edf20c

https://preview.redd.it/krr60sc93vec1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7986aadeb1cca73d6118cd118d39bc15d30123b

https://preview.redd.it/gjm066ua1vec1.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76c7afca37c7a4531b21a0dce8861a1c52ea1669

https://preview.redd.it/yikaegua1vec1.jpg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cea2f15b8ba7f0e3a60c5445b45a2f84ee7ab02

https://preview.redd.it/uyupwnua1vec1.jpg?width=4608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f913b4a5f210b997caf82537a7dbee16d36def2a

all 37 comments



68
u/[deleted]
Sun Jan 3 18:23:41 2021 UTC
(1 child)

This is just unacceptable. It looks like she put very little effort in removing an adequate amount of erectile tissue.

While I’m glad you’re going to be receiving a revision and I’m sending good vibes to you and hoping it goes well, this is something that shouldn’t have happened. Thank you for being willing to share.

7
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:31:28 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Thanks. That makes so much sense and completely validates what I've been suspecting this whole time.

Please, if you can spread this far and wide (friends, therapists, PCP, other surgeons). I want others to know how bad results from her can be, and hopefully spare them from her knife.

14
u/shovellove
Mon Jan 4 03:28:54 2021 UTC
(2 children)

This is insane. It really shows that a surgeon with a big reputation do not always deliver. The fact that she refuses to do revisions is a big red flag. I had my vaginoplasty done at Vanderbilt in Tennessee and I was met with overwhelming support, care, and great results from a surgeon that hasn’t gotten the recognition he deserves. It’s so crazy and we should be able to see the results of these doctors and revisions should be given especially if complications like this happen. After all, the necessary condition of this surgery is alleviating gender dysphoria. If it just makes it worse and you have this happening it’s a job done incorrectly. I’m so happy you’re getting a revision, but I’m so sorry that you have to. It’s painful and exhausting enough to go through surgery once.

3
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:13:55 2021 UTC
(1 child)

I agree with you the whole point is to alleviate dysphoria, not to make it worse. while I am better off not having a dick...these results...well lets just say I have cried knowing how grotesque she looks and contemplated a rather abrupt end to things more than once.

Please share this with who you can trans friends, therapists, GPs, etc I don't want others from suffering my fate.

4
Mon Jan 4 16:15:29 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Absolutely. I’m so sorry this happened and just know that all will be well soon with your revision! You are strong and beautiful and you got this!

u/[deleted]
Sun Jan 3 19:14:16 2021 UTC
*
(3 children)

[deleted]

4
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:36:44 2021 UTC
(2 children)

thanks for the validation! She was blowing smoke up my snatch in every post-op consultation (the few i had)...tons of gaslighting to encourage positive reviews.

I know how private these images can seem but if it will help others know what to expect from her please share this with those who are interested. It is too late from me but at least I can pay it forward and try to spare others.

Mon Jan 4 18:20:16 2021 UTC
(1 child)

[deleted]

6
OP
Mon Jan 4 18:58:52 2021 UTC
(0 children)

yeah, your are betting against the odds if you go with her. Personally, i just don't think she cares so long as she gets paid. I mean what surgeon willfully withholds medical records until she is legally obligated to. someone told me they were getting a revision from another doctor and it is standard practice when dealing with her office to send a letter from a lawyer along with the patient release form, otherwise she just sends the patient OR records (no pre/post-op notes). Her office as also sent out the wrong info before, violating HIPAA

28
u/52jag
Sun Jan 3 19:56:39 2021 UTC
(1 child)

Thanks for making this difficult post. I hope that you have a successful revision: elsewhere. Some women still seem to be considering Rumer b/c of insurance, or a lack of a wait list. I’ve now seen a number of examples of her work, and wouldn’t let that woman put a band aid on me. It seems like she just cuts a slit in the penis, and makes a rough hole. Most of the Rumer results that I have seen look worse than the srs available in the 1960s!!! Something is drastically wrong with her approach, and she clearly is not going to work with a better surgeon to improve. I have a bad feeling that sometime soon we are going to hear of someone dying because of her “work.”

7
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:49:04 2021 UTC
(0 children)

yeah, that was kind of the reason I went to her...sadly it was too good to be true. She does not spend much time with her patients prior to surgery promises to "...give you the best results I can." and does 2-3 surgeries in 1 day twice a week, hence why her number of patients are so high. Based on my experience with her we're just $$$ to her charging insurance around 40k per surgery. She gaslights to get good reviews and harasses sites/victims to take down negative ones.

I know the images and reviews are personal to me but I would rather people know how bad Kathy Rumer can be. Please share with others and help me stop this butchery.

19
u/LaurenRossy1
Sun Jan 3 19:12:30 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Hope everything goes perfectly with your next surgery, you deserve it

6
u/[deleted]
Mon Jan 4 02:32:59 2021 UTC
(1 child)

That is not good.... I'm so sorry that happened to you! :,( Maybe you can find an amazing surgeon that will make you look like the queen that you are! I wish you the best of luck!

3
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:18:32 2021 UTC
(0 children)

I still have my original appointment with my first choice, it just got pushed out because of covid.

While I appreciate the sentiment, please share this (friends, GPs, other surgeons, and therapists). Our community does not need surgeons like her doing this to people and not being called out on it.

10
u/[deleted]
Sun Jan 3 20:46:36 2021 UTC
(1 child)

From one patient to another, I'm so incredibly sorry ::hug:: I sincerely hope you get the best revision and the easiest possible recovery. I wouldn't wish our similar experiences on anyone. :(

3
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:22:44 2021 UTC
(0 children)

::hugs::

5
u/[deleted]
Mon Jan 4 12:13:16 2021 UTC
(1 child)

It’s like she didn’t even try. Wow.

2
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:07:26 2021 UTC
(0 children)

please, if you have any friends thinking about surgery, therapists willing to let her butcher people, or even GP, show them this and let them know she is not worth their time or money.

4
u/Brianna_1997
Sun Jan 3 20:50:08 2021 UTC
(1 child)

So sorry to hear about your experience. I can see how you are unhappy with this result. I wouldn't let the same surgeon do a correction, just save up and get a better surgeon see what they can do.

2
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:22:18 2021 UTC
(0 children)

from what I hear from other victims when ever she does a revision, she only makes it worse.

3
u/Lp973
Mon Jan 4 09:41:50 2021 UTC
(6 children)

Are you looking for a doctor to revision with ? I’m so sorry

4
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:09:05 2021 UTC
(5 children)

i have one in mind. I'm keeping that private since she has a habit of harassing her patients when they are displeased with her work.

-1
Mon Jan 4 16:14:45 2021 UTC
(4 children)

Don't you think a surgeon with that attitude shouldn't operate on you? Like... Go do your research, weigh pros and cons and do it in a multi stage selection process where at the end only the best is left.

7
OP
Mon Jan 4 17:19:05 2021 UTC
(3 children)

At the time I didn't see any reviews or results (good or bad). She goes through and purges reviews every now and then, or at least he legal team threatens people/sites into silence. Mostly, I was left in the dark. a coin-flip, because no one was willing to show off her work. Hence my reviews and the pics.

Had i known/seen any of this you are damn straight I would not have even considered her. But if you want to accuse me of being a dumb bitch for going to her then by all means keep blaming the victims of this butcher!

7
Sun Jan 10 04:38:40 2021 UTC
(0 children)

She threatened to without medical care unless I took down my review. I went off. Check out this review on RealSelf https://www.realself.com/review/dr-kathy-rumer-vaginoplasty?deeplink=deeplink/review/8470530&utm%5Fsource=iOSApp&utm%5Fmedium=share&utm%5Fcampaign=app-sharing

2
Mon Jan 4 20:27:54 2021 UTC
(1 child)

Ehm the latter bit is completely your interpretation and not my intention...

5
OP
Mon Jan 4 21:51:35 2021 UTC
(0 children)

while i can understand if your intent was to encourage others to educate themselves so they don't end up in my situation, that's not the way it initially reads given the context. It is text. I cant read your emotions or facial expressions to determine your intent. I cant tell if were trying to be sarcastic or genuine, this is reddit after all.

Word choice can be just an important as intent. honestly my second paragraph is indirect response to the way it comes off regardless of your intent. it comes off as an outsider with 20/20 hindsight scalding a child for not knowing a better way of going about researching. which is very akin to blaming the victim and the gaslighting that she does.

Whatever your reason, I don't care. Your typed what you did, and I interpreted it the way I did; lets just leave it at that. At the end of the day we are both advocating for the same thing. We want people to research their surgeons and have a very clear understanding of what they are signing up for, both the good and the bad probable outcomes.

4
u/danaEscott
Mon May 10 21:36:24 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Reading this again. I always forget about the “ping pong” issue. I have this problem as well.

5
u/Chloraflora
Sun Jan 3 21:50:41 2021 UTC
(4 children)

Wow I'm so sorry about your experiences :( that's truly shocking to me. Definitely go to another surgeon for your revision, I know my surgeon does work with victims of FGM, so she's definitely able to fix things.

6
Mon Jan 4 01:56:41 2021 UTC
(2 children)

I had the same issue with Bowers, she didn't manage to correct it fully with a revision either. Bodies vary, so do surgical results.

3
Mon Jan 4 02:02:01 2021 UTC
*
(1 child)

Hm, thanks. I've had a bit of wound separation just underneath, and a little asymmetry, but nothing major. Hopefully they both fix themselves but I don't think either would be beyond Marci's skills to fix?

5
Mon Jan 4 02:18:16 2021 UTC
(0 children)

I had a bit of wound separation and asymmetry also. The wound separation self resolved, and Marci was able to correct the minor asymmetry. I think you're in okay hands there if need be when the time comes, but erectile tissue seems to be a different matter.

3
OP
Mon Jan 4 16:20:49 2021 UTC
(0 children)

same with the surgeon I have lined up. ty.

If you have anyone that is thinking about surgery, please make sure the "good doctor" is not on their short list. show them this if it helps

2
u/imnotabadword
Tue Jan 5 22:20:47 2021 UTC
(2 children)

Mine is kinda like this but it happens when I poop too, do you have similar effects?

2
OP
Tue Jan 5 22:59:16 2021 UTC
(1 child)

yeah, a little bit if I'm being honest

2
Wed Jan 6 01:20:02 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Oof I'm sorry

1
u/karma_is_tired
Fri Sep 8 17:10:08 2023 UTC
(1 child)

The image link isn't working

1
OP
Fri Jan 26 22:38:45 2024 UTC
(0 children)

fixed...added photos to post