How "tight" is your dilating?

11
u/RosyGlow
Fri Jan 15 17:33:07 2021 UTC
(15 comments)

Hi all, I'm curious to know how "tight" dilating feels for you.

I'm currently at four months and the green and orange dilators feel a little bit tight - I usually need a few minutes of going slow before they're in all the way at full depth. I'm wondering if this is a common experience?

For the first 3 months they just slid in super easily, so having things feel tighter feels like maybe I've lost some "progress." At the same time, I consider that people born w vaginas typically need time to warm up and ease fingers / an object in, so perhaps what I'm experiencing is actually totally reasonable and normal.

So, im just curious about other people's experience - it would be great if you could share your general experience with how tight things feel (as well as how long post-op you are and what your current dilating schedule is).

all 15 comments


7
u/MillionaireBitches
Fri Jan 15 18:38:10 2021 UTC
(1 child)

This is totally normal. I’m 3 years post-op and i’ve almost stopped dilating and I need to be warmed up otherwise it’s uncomfortable just shoving something in.

2
OP
Fri Jan 15 19:03:50 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Thanks for sharing. Nothing like hearing "this is totally normal" while recovering from major surgery to help me feel better 😅

7
u/HealthyCompote9573
Sat Jan 16 03:55:23 2021 UTC
(7 children)

It’s normal to be tight. It takes time for the muscles to fully relax. Keep with your dilations and as some posted here. Leave them longer.

The first 6 months were terrible for me. Like my brain couldn’t process how this was ever going to be fun.

Its fine now. And I didn’t do anything crazy. I just kept with dilation.

1-6 months. Not fun at all and tightness is stressful and worrisome.

6month-1year. It gets better but I’m still not enjoying penetration.

1-2 year huge improvement and things settle down. Still need to dilate a little more frequently than what was prescribed. It’s not really fun honestly.

2 plus year. It got better a lot. Muscle doesn’t seems to want to close anymore. It might become tighter. But like I can just f around a little and it’s ok.

Just to give you an idea.

I was given 3 dilators. Blue (small), green( medium), orange(large)

We were told to skip the blue and go right away to green and orange which I was able to do for the first 3-4 months.

After 4 months not sure why I have to downgrade to the small one in my routine and make my way up. It’s like it was closing faster.

God it was painful and I hated it. Even thought I would never go back to a P. I remember telling myself. Wtf did I do. And I’m like a super pro vagina. So shows that it wasn’t going well.

I kept with it and kept them in for longer.

Time is your friend. So don’t stress about it too much. Keep at your routine. And also be active as it helps. Blood flow helps recovery etc etc.

It will get better. If in like a year it’s still painful and super tightly closed than it’s time to worry.

Now it’s perfectly normal to have issues.

3
OP
Sat Jan 16 08:50:31 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Thank you so much for all of this information , I really appreciate the thoroughness of your answer in relation to timelines.

2
OP
Sat Jan 16 08:52:44 2021 UTC
(5 children)

Oh I'll also ask - what dilation schedule did you end up sticking to over the times you described?

2
Sat Jan 16 16:19:06 2021 UTC
(4 children)

Omg lol I’ll try to remember.

So like months 4-6 was like twice per day. I had to do it right away in the morning for convenience and also because nighttime was the worst. Like it was closing. And I was doing the other one after dinner preferably but would often end up just before going to bed.

Like at that time honestly I would bring music my phone. Fuck like everything I could think of to try to change my mind because I do not enjoy it. It felt it just wanted to close. So in theory I should have been doing green 10minutes and orange 15 min. But no way green was going in. It felt like my muscle was like donut inside and I could insert dilators for like 2 inch but it would block. I use to wonder if I had lost al my depth but it was it’s the muscle closing. So I had to use the smaller one to actually make through the hole in the muscle and make my way. So I would do like 10, 10, and like 20 plus .

I would arch movie call my friends and not telling them I was doing that. Lol. Like trying to find a way lol.

And from 6 month to 1 year it was once per day and I would do again all 3 and like the same routine. Not necessarily as long but like I’m an anime fan. So sometime I would just leave the bigger size a little longer.

But like I’ve never been ent crazy as to leave them for hours or do some crazy exercice.

And now it’s fine. And fun. So it’s time and care. Yes you can be active 2-3 months after. But you are putting yourself at risk of complication and the reality is that if you expect to have a fully enjoyable vagina within the first year. I’m not sure that actually possible. Like we are all super excited when we talk about our transition and stuff on social media. But fact remains there is so harder parts to it. This is one of them.

You’ll get there. It just takes time. Like it’s a major surgery:)

3
OP
Sat Jan 16 18:28:58 2021 UTC
(3 children)

Ok this is so helpful thank you!

The tightness at the 4-6 month part for you is like what happened for me - month 1-3 3x daily and dilating was so easy, then I went down to 2x day and it got really tight really fast. So I have been back up to 3. It's encouraging to know that even when it got much tighter at month 4-6 on two dilations per day, you were eventually able to get things to loosen up again. Sounds like this temporary tightening is all part of the process! After 6 months you went down to 1 dilation per day - was it still very tight for a while on that schedule?

Thanks again!

2
Sat Jan 16 20:48:55 2021 UTC
(2 children)

Yep it was. But it’s got better slowly every week.

But not sure why mine just go super better after 2 years. Like now it’s just a soft muscle that can be tighten if i want to too. Like I control it.

But like 4-8 months honestly we’re tight pussy months lol.

You have to gauge your own body reaction. I personally think the routine are minimums. I found that my body needed more. Which honestly is probably a good thing long term.

3
OP
Sun Jan 17 01:01:26 2021 UTC
(1 child)

Thanks again. I will probably try reducing to 2x day in another few weeks / a month and see how it goes!

2
Sun Nov 7 03:23:27 2021 UTC
*
(0 children)

Get a pelvis muscle training - all sorts of women do it too.

Dilation is the reason I say: The GRS should stand at the beginning of the transition, not in the end, as transition is often wrongly described to newbie transgenders with the GRS standing at the end or near the end of the line. - It's not, it's the beginning - HRT, all therapies, etc., those are just MINOR steps in the beginning.

Dilation is the real struggle while transitioning. Whatever came before GRS and dilation was not really any sort of struggle for me, compared to having to diligently stick to the dilation schedule 2+ hours every day. That's hard but manageable. I just wish that people wouldn't think that the GRS is the end of the "voyage", omg.. It's not - before GRS was like a picnic ;-)

2
u/LaurenRossy1
Fri Jan 15 17:55:54 2021 UTC
(4 children)

Holy sh*t this happened to me. The first few months I could dilate my pussy so easily and now my pussy is really tight. I thought it was only me and that I was fucked up

3
OP
Fri Jan 15 19:05:59 2021 UTC
(3 children)

Weird right? Some surgeons actually warn about this occurring, and that it's to be expected. I was reading a Suporn post op booklet and mentioned that around 2/3 months the tissue contracts as it heals. But my surgeon didn't mention any thing like this.

So anyway, here I am at 4 months, still dilating on a pretty rigorous schedule. But I'm starting to think that a bit of tightness isn't uncommon, and its actually that ease of the first couple months that is in fact the anomalous period in the healing process.

2
Fri Jan 15 19:21:56 2021 UTC
(2 children)

What can we do then????

1
Fri Jan 15 20:25:34 2021 UTC
(1 child)

Dilate more often if it’s getting difficult and just keep at it until it gets easier again.

2
OP
Fri Jan 15 20:29:20 2021 UTC
(0 children)

Yeah this is basically my strategy, I'll stick to a rigorous schedule for another month or so and then try to decrease frequency.

But ultimately, what I'm trying to determine w this thread is that some tightness is normal / what degree of tightness is normal.

Like if I need a few mins warm up to get my dilators in ... That's more than comparable to a natal vagina.