So first of all, don't worry. A lot of post op trans woman have a depression right after their surgery. I also felt like I made a mistake in the beginning and had a big depression. I felt like maybe I didn't choose the right surgeon, maybe I didn't think enough before doing it. But what I know now that I got the surgery is that for sure my disphoria was so strong that I was like "whatever it can't be worse than now so I just do it" without thinking about the aftercare or the possible concequences like loosing dept, sensations, not liking the results. I just wanted to get rid of it so much that I didn't think about the risks. So the first month, I was really down and especially because I had some complications. I couldn't move, couldn't sit, slept horribly, I spent my time doing dilations. I didn't have a life. I felt like I made a mistake. Now, 3 months post op, it's completely different. I have my life back and the most important when I look in the mirror and I see myself, I feel complete. I go outside with leggings and I'm not stress that people could see something. It's liberating. Of course I still have to do 2 dilations per day, 10 min each and I don't like it but all in all this surgery deleted my biggest insecurity. I'm already planning my summer and buying bikinis ahah Give time to your body. It took me 2months to get better and it took 1 month for a friend of mine, it really depends on your body. For the smell, I also had it because I had a bit of necrosis starting that my surgeon quickly removed. After that the smell disappeared but I still have smell from time to time as I still use isobetadine gel... Don't worry everything will be fine at the end :)

Also don't forget that the first months are stressful, just because your results are uncertain. It depends on your recovery and what your surgeon did. I'm 3months post op and I still don't know if I can have an orgasm or if my results are gonna get better with time but sure I know I will need another surgery. So it's a very uncertain moment you live but with time it's gonna get better :)

Hang in there.

I stopped dilating 3 times/day after 6 months. Aftercare is an investment. If you do it right, you save a lot of time later. If you skip an hour, you would need 2-3 hours to catch up later. Otherwise, you will lose the depth. In terms of strength, 7 months after I'm still not fully recovered. Still weak. But it gets better.

Its normal to feel like that. And you WILL get better. Make sure you try to be motivated and look towards the future. The after care is a lot at first but it will get easier with time. You’re making an investment in an awesome vulva and you will be able to fully enjoy it in time! Never give up because you’ve already done all the hard stuff. Now its time to relax and heal

It's hard for the first few months but it's so worth it! I found after about 3 months it stopped being as bad but it took about 2 years before I felt 100% I know the feeling of not wanting to dilate forever but honestly after a year or so it starts being "fun" ;) Also you can do it whenever is convenient as opposed to having to schedule your entire life around being able to dilate multiple times a day.

Get up and walk. Get out of your head and let it distracted by something or someone else. It really helps. Dilation sucks, but it's the price of admission. You don't want to go through all of this and decide it's too painful and let it go. Now THAT you will regret. Stick with it. it's get's better.