Knowing if you're ready..

20
u/dieselflower
Sun Mar 6 20:43:15 2022 UTC
(16 comments)

I've been considering an orchiectomy for a year now but I don't feel certain enough to go for it. Will I ever though? How do you know when you're ready?

Here are just a few reasons I want one.

  1. I know it would push my transition with hrt a little further (even lower T) and would get me off of bicalutamide which can actually hide signs of prostate cancer (so I've heard).
  2. My "package" would be smaller and easier to deal with when it comes to clothes.
  3. While I'm getting cut, I want to getnl frenuloplasty to fix a short frenulum.

The thing that keeps me from just going for it is the permanence. I guess I still feel like, what if this isn't right for me? Even though I've been pursuing transition for 7 years now.

I recently had the realization that I might feel that apprehension or doubt even after getting an orchiectomy, like "what if I made the wrong decision" instead "I'm not certain I won't change my mind one day even though I haven't for quite a few years"

all 16 comments


11
u/ashleyjm
Sun Mar 6 22:14:33 2022 UTC
(2 children)

Will share, Orchie in 1/2019. So happy to be rid of the bastards and Never looked back! In addition, I benefited from the boost in efficacy of my HRT❣️

3
OP
Sun Mar 6 22:19:40 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Was there anything in particular that made you commit and make it happen? Were you hesitant at first?

2
Mon Mar 7 04:09:02 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Well, to be perfectly honest what I am about to share is an extreme example the depths of what gender dysphoria can drive a person to . . .

Here is my disclaimer: I absolutely do NOT recommend this course of action, ever!

I hated those unwanted male characteristics so much that I was injecting them up to twice-three times a week with Everclear grain alcohol. One morning, several months into this, it happened. Something went horribly wrong with the injections in both testicles and for the next 4-hours I was in excruciating agony. When the pain finally lessened, I was living with a constant dull ache. Scared as I was from the experience, the hell of it was it didn’t stop the injections.

By this time, I was in therapy and diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I hadn’t yet told my therapist what I had been doing to myself.

Therapy then reached the point of referral for starting HRT. I came clean about the injections bc it would have a direct bearing on my HRT numbers. At that point I stopped taking them, and the pain continued. My Endocrinologist referred me to Radiology to have sonograms which indicated there was damage. She then referred me to Urology for surgery. I had a difficult time in that clinic bc the PA’s were very less than accepting of me, and I suppose even more so bc of the self inflicted mutilation. I underwent the bilateral orchiectomy. Post-op pathology reports came back 75/45% damaged. The damned things were gone, and so was the constant ache.

That, is how it came about for me. For whom ever reads these comments, it is highly ill advised and dangerous to do what I did. DO NOT inject yourself with anything not prescribed by your doctor! AMA I wish you all the best❣️

6
u/killerbee2319
Sun Mar 6 22:25:29 2022 UTC
(2 children)

I am feeling much the same way. I want it, but that stupid voice that for 30+ years said I'm not really trans in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary just won't shut up sometimes.

1
OP
Sun Mar 6 22:32:35 2022 UTC
(1 child)

Yeah that's exactly how I feel. I wonder if scheduling or even just consulting with a urologist would turn it all to excitement

2
Sun Mar 6 22:34:12 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I dont know. I do think I'd be happier on the other side. And maybe not pee so damned much from the spiro.

3
u/Renna_FGC
Mon Mar 7 06:39:26 2022 UTC
(1 child)

You begin to feel more “ready” when you transition long enough. And you also, may not. Not everyone feels comfortable removing body parts. But also, some people begin to feel more and more hindered. Tucking is awful for me. Constant. And when i dont tuck, i feel as i dont pass. My bottom surgery is in like 30 hours so

1
Mon Mar 7 15:12:47 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Good luck with your surgery!

2
u/CuriousCharge1
Sun Mar 6 22:34:41 2022 UTC
(1 child)

I had mine in March, 2018. Didn’t have any complications with healing and now I’m so happy I went for it! Sure there I was a little hesitant while researching, but the positives outweighed the negatives for me. The fact you’ve been pursing transition for 7 years is pretty telling to me tbh

1
OP
Sun Mar 6 22:38:48 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I admittedly haven't done much research into it yet. I've done enough into vaginoplasty and labiaplasty to know that I don't wanna go for that. Can I ask what research you did and where most of your info came from?

2
u/yyanu
Mon Mar 7 00:25:50 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I want this so desperately and I'm not even 6 months out so I'm trying to cool my jets. Also I'm planning orchie as a step along the way to vag or vulvo plasty; and I realize that if I really really want a decent vagina I should probably wait on the orchie. But on the other hand may ochie will be both satisifying enough and daunting enough in recovery to wipe the idea the other out of my mind.

But enough about me. After 7 years... I suppose you could stop HRT for a spell and see how that feels. If you hate it, maybe you have your answer. Or, if you hate even the idea of going of HRT even just for science... well then maybe you also have your answer.

2
u/D0esANyoneREadTHese
Mon Mar 7 05:32:46 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Me personally, I didn't really NEED much thought on it.

Look at it logically, what do you lose with an orchiectomy? The ability to have kids, and the ability to make large amounts of testosterone.

I was on HRT for two years and I was already basically sterile, whether or not it would be recoverable if I stopped HRT for a while was doubtful according to the pathology report showing just how much they'd atrophied, and that was at TWO years not SEVEN. Kids already were pretty much out of the question.

As for testosterone, I hated that stuff. If I ever DID wake up one day and decide I wanted to be a dude again, which is doubtful, I'd have a REALLY easy time convincing an endo to give me a script for testosterone if I REALLY wanted to go back to the smelly, horny-in-a-bad-way, balding-at-19 sort of life. But, all the times I've been off HRT pre-orchi have sucked a LOT and I decided I never wanted to worry about that again.

I got my orchi a little over 2 months ago and it's been the best decision of my life, the surgery itself is easier than wisdom teeth (and on my insurance, cheaper) and even the dreaded "forgot your shot" problem post-orchi isn't too bad, it's not gonna kill you, you just feel a little bit more sluggish.

2
u/KristyandCandys
Mon Mar 7 06:14:59 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I am working towards getting one done soon. I have those feelings of what if I am making a mistake. But I know I will never go off of HRT. So what is the point of them now. They serve no purpose anymore, and one less pill I have to take daily sounds nice too. That is how my thoughts go. I have a consult with a doctor this week.

2
u/lunanotlaura
Mon Mar 7 21:39:39 2022 UTC
*
(0 children)

I've been on hrt for nearly 5 years but no orchi yet. I don't have any doubt that I'm trans, I feel like "me" now. The only, only, onlyy thing stopping me is the fear that I won't be able to top my wife anymore. It's rare that I want to at this point, but it's like, still possible. Idk..killing that seems scary.😨

Sooo, same boat, different reason. At least we're not *alone😔🤷🏼‍♀️

1
u/IllInstruction6708
Mon Mar 7 10:40:43 2022 UTC
(0 children)

If you are worried about the aspect of having children, talk to the medics about having sperms frozen. As for doubts, we all have them from time to time. I've been out for 14 months and there have been at least three occasions that doubts have happened. On analysis of my doubts, two were caused by less support at that time from friends and family, and one because I didnt see the female me developing, but that was only after 4 months on hormones. Talk to someone, including yourself. Maybe do a Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats analysis to weigh up everything. You will find both positives and negatives. Work through those with a SWOT too. It all helps. Good luck

1
u/Odd_Perception_6875
Mon Mar 7 17:42:38 2022 UTC
(0 children)

The things you describe as benefits are the exact that propel me to getting orchi done. The trepidations you have are NOT something I have reservations with.

If I have any advice it is to listen to yourself. You are valid in your choice. You must be content in your decision.

I know the upside for me are the things you lined out. I'm feel I'm too old to have any benefit from total GRS.. But to get off some meds and tuck way better is as good as it gets in some aspects.