Dilation is getting extremely difficult and I'm lost on what to do

8
u/throwaway453724875
Tue May 31 00:40:27 2022 UTC
(19 comments)

So like 4ish months ago i had surgery with Dr Bank. And to put it midly dilations is killing me.

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Currently a dilation session takes upwards of 2 hours from starting insertion until reaching my now full depth of 15 cm. No longer even my full orginal depth of 16 cm. As i simply cannot push hard enough to get it to that depth, even using my leg as extra force, and being in tears by the end of a session most of the time.

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There is no difference in time no matter if i am doing 2 times a day or 3 times a day, it seems to make little to no difference at all on the amount of time it takes. But doing 3 times a day makes it so sore that the next dilation is just more painful. That coupled with the time it takes, means I’m doing 2 times a day.

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I’m so sore after doing the medium that I cannot do the large anymore, when trying I simply cannot push due the pain, my body won’t let me by the time I’m done with medium.

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Starting with the small dilator makes no difference in terms of pain or time, and just ends up with the same effect as switching from the medium to the large.

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As for lubrication, i heard from a few other patients at varius stages, that they switched to coconout oil, so to see if it could help i have tried that, it did help some, and it is still better than the QC i brough home with me. But even then 1.5 hour average time to depth over the last few weeks.

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The dificulty is not inserting the dilatior, that goes releatively pain free, and decently fast getting to between 12 or 14 cm. The problem is the end, which is what takes over an hour for the last 1-2 cm.

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It seems to make no difference if i'm active, inactive or sleeping between sessions. I cannot find a correlation between activities and dilation being hard.

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The only thing I have found that consistently makes a difference is mental state, being anxious is terrible for dilation. Generally, I also try to be in the best possible headspace for dilation, but having spend 2 months pretty much daily inflicting severe pain on myself, my mental health is not the best, and 2 times 1+ of pain is hard to stay positive about, but I do the best I can.

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No amount of pain killers seems to make a difference of this pain during dilation, the only I’ve not tried is morphine, as this tend to knock me out within 1 hour for 12 hours, which makes 1.5 hour dilation session scary to try, as if I go out, I’m going to end up with like 18+ between proper dilations.

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I am noting every time to depth down, and with the current trend, in a month or so if things continue like this, I’m going to be consistently over 2 hours to depth.

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I am at a complete loss as to what to do, or what I am doing wrong, it is getting mentally exhausting and is destroying every single day.

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I have presented all this to the Suporn clinic but their only response is, “more pain, more dilate, more gain” various forms of “don’t worry” and “just keep dilating” no of which is very helpful or comforting.

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So I’m now hoping that someone here online can come with some sort of suggestion in regards to anything that could help with cutting down time and for that matter pain of dilation, I’m honestly getting desperate.

all 19 comments


7
u/True_Ad_824
Tue May 31 02:45:28 2022 UTC
(7 children)

Go see your doctor and have a speculum exam so they can evaluate internal healing. Take something for pain prior to the exam. Also dilate prior to exam so speculum exam is easier. Communicate with your doctor and nurse about pain before exam, there are things that can help if they know. Bridget

0
Tue May 31 08:47:47 2022 UTC
(6 children)

DO NOT ALLOW A DOCTOR TO USE A SPECULUM! This could damage the inside cavity.

3
Tue May 31 13:42:27 2022 UTC
(2 children)

You do not know what you are spouting off about. A gentle exam may be neccessary and will not hurt anything.

2
Tue May 31 14:43:57 2022 UTC
(1 child)

It’s recommended by surgeons not to do a speculum exam for the first year because it can harm the graft.

3
Tue May 31 20:58:17 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I do not think this is true. My own surgeon (Dr. McGinn) used a speculum to see how things are healing at my three month follow up.

2
Tue May 31 14:09:26 2022 UTC
(1 child)

That’s only the first few months. She’s past that point.

1
OP
Wed Jun 1 01:19:49 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Suporn clinic has a policy of not before 6 months unless they say good for it, and they don't have anything other than "don't worry" to say...

4
u/Melissa7d
Tue May 31 01:24:51 2022 UTC
(1 child)

You might want to find a pelvic floor physical therapist. In the meantime try this video https://youtu.be/2aEceax_be4 Worse case you can get a Botox injection inside the vaginal canal.

1
OP
Tue May 31 01:49:50 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Finding someone professional in this country is not really a possibility with our wait times, with any luck i would get to see one in like 3 months minimum.

I try my best to relax but when the pain gets severe at the end of the channel, then it becomes incredibly difficult to continue to relax, probably just starting a feedback loop of less relaxed, and more pain etc, if i had to guess at least. But with me having to push on the dilator with my leg, to have enough streng to get it the last bit, and then have to continue until my body physically won't allow me to push harder, then i don't know how to continue to be relaxed

3
u/HiddenStill
Tue May 31 01:29:14 2022 UTC
(3 children)

I have presented all this to the Suporn clinic but their only response is, “more pain, more dilate, more gain” various forms of “don’t worry” and “just keep dilating” no of which is very helpful or comforting.

I think that’s more or less all you can do at this point, and hope it gets better sooner rather than later. It sounds like you’re still in the difficult stage and it lasts longer for some than others.

You could try increasing to 4 times a day, it might get easier and less painful.

One thing I’ve not seen mentioned very often is to make sure you empty your bowels before dilation. It can make it difficult to reach depth.

Are you on the Suporn discord? You might be able to get more/better advice there.

There’s some info in the wiki that might be relevant

https://www.reddit.com/r/TransSurgeriesWiki/wiki/srs/introduction#wiki_dilation

https://www.reddit.com/r/TransSurgeriesWiki/wiki/srs/introduction#wiki_pain

2
OP
Tue May 31 01:44:48 2022 UTC
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(2 children)

I am emptying my bowls and bladder with every dilation, though admittedly with my smaller than average bladder size/capacity, and dilation lasting upwards of two hours, i am getting to the point, were i have to break up my dilations to go pee, even if i peed right before dilation

Increasing to 4 times a day, i don't know how i would try to start and fit that into a day, as that would mean a maximum of 3 hours of sleep at a time, which my body just does not work on, i was on 4 times a day back around month 2, where it actually made a difference in both time and pain levels, but i could start to feel the effects of sleep depravation within a few days, even though i could get about 4.5 hours of sleep between, but now there is no difference going from 12 hours between to 8 hours between. And getting into a 4 dilation a day schedule seems impossible.

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I was on the discord, but honestly that is the most condescending place i have ever been, and with anything i was posting i was just told to pull myself together and toughen up

5
Tue May 31 02:23:02 2022 UTC
(1 child)

If 4 times a day helped then it’s probably the answer. It’s obviously horrible, but you need to pick the least bad thing to do. Maybe finding a way to deal with sleep is easier than what you’re facing now. It shouldn’t last too much longer.

Unless you can come up with something better, what else is there? If you stop dilating this early you’ll lose all your depth.

There’s a possibility it’s granulation, but it’s also likely to be normal healing. You’d need a doctor to take a look inside.

2
OP
Wed Jun 1 01:24:23 2022 UTC
(0 children)

You didn't read this?...

There is no difference in time no matter if i am doing 2 times a day or 3 times a day, it seems to make little to no difference at all on the amount of time it takes. But doing 3 times a day makes it so sore that the next dilation is just more painful. That coupled with the time it takes, means I’m doing 2 times a day.

As i said less time between, 8 hours compared to 12 makes no difference to time, but makes it more painful, so i don't see the logic in that 8 hours would make this in anyway better?

I am not in anyway planning to stop dilating, but i'm not about to do something i have tried recently that just made it more painful...

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There’s a possibility it’s granulation, but it’s also likely to be normal healing. You’d need a doctor to take a look inside.

As said in another comment, not allowed unless green light is given from the clinic, who just says don't worry...

3
u/Post_op_Prudi
Tue May 31 08:46:42 2022 UTC
(1 child)

Do you do "dynamic dilation?" It's a stirring motion to widen as well at lengthen. And dilation should not take longer than 15 minutes or so, 3 times a day. Give yourself a few hours in between

3
OP
Wed Jun 1 01:27:12 2022 UTC
(0 children)

I am doing dynamic dilation, as instructed by the clinic. Dilation is taking on average 1.5 hours 2 times a day, there is on average 10 hours between end of one session until the start of the next, doing any less, just makes the next one more painful with no change to time.

u/[deleted]
Tue May 31 07:49:07 2022 UTC
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(1 child)

[removed]

2
u/aekireri
Mon Dec 19 01:37:59 2022 UTC
(0 children)

Hi, do you think you could update now that some time bas passed, how are you doing? Did it get better? How did you get through?