I wish I could back in time and never have gotten SRS. My main torture came down to tucking and fantasizing feeling “normal” (not having to uncomfortably hide something). But now I honestly miss my old genitalia. I feel that in a way I let society get to me on what normal should be and what women should have. Just my advice…. Don’t let society push you to make the wrong decision. Do it for nobody but yourself ! Don’t feel like you need a pussy to be accepted or be woman enough. If you’re not 100% dysphoric about your genitalia you probably shouldn’t change it. You might regret it later on. Not throwing shade to anyone that’s happy about SRS just sharing my personal experience.
Sounds like ur phyciatrist wasn't doing thier job. I'm sorry that u regret it, but may I ask why? I hated my genitals 1000% , and I'm glad they are gone the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. I've wanted this my whole life..I couldn't care what society has to say about me that wasn't a deciding factor for me, how I felt about me is why I needed to do it. That part of me made me cry daily and after sex.is it only the genital surgery u regret or ur whole transition and why do u regret it, no regrets only happiness. Ty
Legit I've had dreams about having a pussy
It would be better to focus on an issue that could possibly be resolved and improved. I.e. your displeasure with your result. It that was 50% of of the total reason, you regret surgery that is the one most likely fixable.
I went through 4 years of hell, before I got to that point. I feel your pain on this issue.
Thank you. I definitely plan on getting a revision and hope for the best!
It took me three revisions with three different surgeons. I'm not trying to rain on your parade by saying that, I want to temper your expectations. So...dont be surprised if it takes more than one, you can still reach your goal.
I tell everyone go orchie as least invasive. The penis is an enlarged clitoris. No female cuts her clitoris off to be more feminine. I know they save the main nerve now but so much is chopped about just for a cosmetic result, same with breasts go small and natural, no silicone, you can always pad things up from the outside.
I know you say you’re not bashing but in one of your responses, you literally said that most neovaginas look nowhere near cis - which is ridiculous considering that the anatomical variation in cis vulva is enormous.
Even the concept of what a cis vagina looks like externally is drastically varied and cannot be pigeon-holed into any aspects.
It sounds like you’re blaming society for your lack of self-awareness and present-ness as pertains to the reason for surgery.
If you thought that having a vagina would solve all your problems then you never really addressed your problems through therapy, self-work, or otherwise, but rather tried to band-aid your mental health with a life changing operation.
And for that, I hope you find peace
And of course there had to come someone to judge and talk crap! I’m not blaming society for nothing. Like I said I blame myself for making the wrong decision for myself. About the looks of neo vaginas It’s my opinion it’s okay if you don’t agree to it. You can literally just scroll down. But majority of the results I’ve seen don’t look right in my eyes ( including mine) Maybe my result wasn’t as good as I pictured it in my head and that place a part on regretting srs as much as I do.
I am 100% not taking crap. Your post was a little rude, as were some of your replies.
I feel what you’re saying about it not looking like what it does it your mind but remember that many of the pictures here are very early in recovery. You shouldn’t lament your situation or belittle others (because you did in a comment) because in your mind, society and your surgeon let you down.
This is all im saying. You also sound extremely angry, snd my heart really does hurt for it.
Im sorry your experience wasn’t everything you ever wanted - but don’t put others down to pick yourself up. This does not work.
This will be my last reply to you as I’m choosing to disengage and not flood a thread with assumed negativity. If you’d like to talk further, my dm’s are open for you.
Vulvas vary a lot in appearance, I've seen plenty of passing results on here.
but neovaginas arent visually or functionally like natal vaginas even if you take in account the variance of natal vaginas. not accepting this is dangerous as it can lead to unrealistic expectations regarding surgery and that can lead to regret.
neovaginas are different and thats fine.
I've definitely seen neovaginas that were visually just like a Natalie vagina.
They are different, which is fine. But let's not pretend like it's impossible to get a vagina that looks like a natal one.
Natalie Vagina.
okay then.
I’ve had several sexual partners as well as medical staff see and feel mine. Every one of them has said it is undifferentiated from a natal vagina/vulva. Only difference is I have no cervix which makes it look like I’ve had a complete hysterectomy.
I've kicked this around for a while.... I know I want an orchi and I've been considering full SRS..Though, many times I've poked around online asking how much they felt society had a hand in their feelings.
Most... said they were for sure dysphoric and... I definitely am sometimes but.. I mean, mostly I just want to be able to get dressed without having to tuck.
Thinking once I had an orchi, I could consider if I wanted to go forward with SRS rather than jumping straight to it.
Thanks for sharing
I would definitely have a orchi first before making the big jump. Take your time and really think it through. There’s no going back once it’s done. I wish I would’ve gotten an orchi instead but now I got to make the best of what I have now.
I've been thinking on it for more than a decade but only seriously considering it over the last year.
How long has it been since your surgery if you don't mind my asking?
Before SRS, I was thinking that I am not gonna use that canal, so let's do zero depth and have less headache. I'm sure I never will have intercourse, but someone told me "don't think about others, focus what you want only" She was right.i ignored every human on the earth and I noticed that I don't want to be a woman thar always feels something is missing (vaginal canal) and feel disability. So for the sake of myself, I did Vaginoplasty.
This is why I always suggest people only get SRS if absolutely necessary. If you like your old equipment in any way. We need to make sure people know that’s ok and just as valid. It’s a huge surgery and commitment. I hope things get better with time <3
I feel bad for you, but as for results, a gynaecologist and several lesbian girlfriends have been shocked when they realized my vagina was built by surgeons. Good results are definitely possible. It seems like your mental health and surgical outcome were not handled well by those that should have done right by you. Not surprising given the dire situation for most of us accessing healthcare.
Especially with the current situation where if you show any doubt, they take all your healthcare away. That's a lot of pressure to be under.
Who did you go? I one like want that.
Dr Ivan Manero in Barcelona. IM Gender Clinic
If you were not happy with the genitals you had before that does not seem like enough reason to go through with a surgery that had any risk however small.. To me anybody who decides to get surgery out of desire is fine but if your not willing to accept the chance you wont be 100% satisfied you should not get it in the first place. BTW healing the muscles and nerves after cutting them to skin level from my personal lived experience can take upwards of 10 years so maybe you have not given it a fair chance?
A major comparative metric for me in deciding if i will be happy with the physical result after is based on my ability to orgasm, time required, ease in getting there and none of that is/has been equal before restoring my foreskin.
And I am sure i am in the minority here but besides from discomfort with tucking which is actually a non thought-not having to tuck is strictly a benefit and should never be a reason at all to get a life altering and permanent surgical procedure.. having to tuck is really more of an inconvenience to me and not a debilitating condition like dysmorphia and dysphoria can be, (after buying some high quality thongs tucking is a breeze and actually enjoyable) now my dysphoria stems from just how i would like to have sex while weighing the statistics that orgasm actually improves for over 50% of srs patients and often stays the same.. very rarely does it decrease and in that light the studies have not taken into account the length of time it takes to fully and completely recover all sensation in the surrounding tissues (not just the clit).
Besides having a medical condition however mild that may contribute to an increased cancer risk having a damaged penis (peyronies disease) and discomfort having anal for my whole life I have always wanted a vagina for living my daily life, sex aside i can enjoy anal enough that even if I had absolutely no sensation at all from my vagina (when i get it) I could live with the fact that i at least have that.. and no anal was not always enjoyable and took years of getting used to it.. I have only had anal sex one time and from that experience even though traumatic i can tell you SRS is for me.. I don't walk around having sex or thinking about it all day long but i do think about how I prefer to be carrying around a vagina rather than a penis, again just another benefit.
I don't think any surgeon in the world would accept someone for a vaginoplasty without asking them first a few questions first - so to make an attempt on my part to understand how you can/would actually regret it I would be apparent only by understanding why did you get it in the first place if you were not 100% sure even if only in one aspect (daily life, preference of sex, comfort etc)
Sounds like ur phyciatrist wasn't doing thier job. I'm sorry that u regret it, but may I ask why? I hated my genitals 1000% , and I'm glad they are gone the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. I've wanted this my whole life..I couldn't care what society has to say about me that wasn't a deciding factor for me, how I felt about me is why I needed to do it. That part of me made me cry daily and after sex.is it only the genital surgery u regret or ur whole transition and why do u regret it, no regrets only happiness. Ty
My psychiatrist has absolutely nothing to do with my regrets. At the end of the day I was convinced myself that that’s what I needed. Im glad SRS was the solution for you. Like I said, this is in no shape or form shade for anyone that’s happy with their decision! I definitely don’t regret transitioning. I am and will forever be a female. What I regret is changing my genitalia for pleasing society and seeking “acceptance” or feeling “normal”/included”. I thought having a vagina would solve all my problems and give me the ultimate happiness. Does having a vagina helped my gender dysphoria? Absolutely! The relief of not having yo tuck or to worry about anything showing while in public is amazing. But I do miss and would rather have a penis. I wasn’t 100% dysphoric by it. I knew I shouldn’t have born with one but after so many years I guess I got used to having one. Also for me, a Neo vagina will never compare to a cis one no matter the technique or the surgeon and that’s something I didn’t take in consideration at the time. Realistically speaking most don’t even look anywhere close to a cis vagina. (Not that everyone cares about that aspect of the surgery)
That response definitely clarified ur thoughts a bit better. Thank u for taking the time to answer, my results are here on Reddit and it looks natal ur welcome to look it's under this category. It will never be a Cis vagina but it's my vagina. And finally happy to be rid of that thing I had. Sounds like u were sure u should of had one. But maybe mis the convenience of having a penis? I mean let's face it, lot less work to take care of it. I have a spouse and she is very supportive of me. I'm not worried about how it functions I'll make it work. But also glad I no longer have to tuck. I hated the sores it caused and the sweat and the panties not holding it tight. I love my new lines and know I made the right decision. I hope u come to a point of no regret and enjoy being that wonderful woman I'm positive u are. I don't mean anything cruel or demeaning by my comments I'm just trying to understand I mean no Ill intentions please for give me. ,
Thank you for your kindness and I apologize if my comment about neo vagina was offensive to anyone. It was uncalled for. I’m just angry at myself and at my doctor for the poor result that just added to my regret. Like you say hopefully I can adapt better and not regret it in the future. Maybe once I get a revision and feel pleased with my result it’ll be better.
Hun just take it one day at a time and remember that you have gone farther than alot of us can. You not be happy with ur vag. But u can improve it and u confidence. U can always message me I'm here to chat. I'd love to see get to know u better.
But yes definitely a lot less work taking care of a penis lol! I’ve been experienced lost of depth, dilation was the worse for me. So yeah my experience wasn’t the best neither.
I think that's the only thing we I'll miss not needing toilet paper every time I pee and not needing to drop my pants lol. I get it.
I feel my poor result also has a big impact on me regretting surgery. In my head I pictured it very differently esthetically. I’m considering a revision since that’s all I could do now. Make it the best as possible.
Why wouldn't it? Of that's A big reason then maybe there's a way to improve some of this for you. I know there was a time after my surgery where I regretted my results and the surgeon I chose. I still regret the last part.
A revision may actually improve ur confidence, I went to Thailand for my surgery, I wasn't happy with anything I found in the US OR CANADA for results that looked to my satisfaction, I believe that the Drs here are sub par,bad manners ,big egos and shit work, to expensive and to long to wait for contact or surgery, scheduled in Thailand in 60 days from email. Paid cash and got great aesthetics that was super important to me. As well as feeling and function. I feel free finally. I'm sorry u had bad results but u can still my fix it. I think that would help u tremendously, I mean we have fight so we long to be happy why not make sure it's too pur standards.
I literally felt the same way as you when I first got mine done. I had tons of regret & almost missed my old genitals (I was shocked) but there was something comforting about my old body that I have yet to find with my new post op self. I hope that you’re doing well though! 💖
I'm so sorry to hear that. But for me I can't wait til APRIL 6 2022 I ben waiting to have this surgery 30yrs I wish I could of got it sooner .but at 43yr old I'm bout to start my whole life over . Yes ,yes ,yes Amen ... I'm so excited April is not coming fast enough and I never been a follower I always thought for myself so social media can't do nothing for me
I’ve read some of your comments. I have regrets about getting an orchi. I also have a shit ton of regrets about dropping out of highschool and getting a GED. I regret also not finishing a major in college that would allow me to work in a position where transitioning would be easy.
I work in a male dominated field in HVAC because I went to school for it and it is a massive regret for me, but you know what? I live in the South in the USA and I get misgendered and discriminated against every single day.
Here in the south there is a common expression to count your blessings. In a non-religious context it means show gratitude for all the positive things that have happened to you. If you always focus on the negative you are blinded by all of the good things that have happened to you.
I’ve made my situation work for myself and I know things will be better. I don’t dwell on the negative anymore. I just keep pushing myself to move forward and find another solution.
There are many people who would happily trade places with you for what you have. So, I ask you to write a list of all of the positive things you have been through and share them and let’s see if it outweighs the negative. I’m sorry about your situation and your feelings are valid but you will have to change the way you think before things get better. I read your post about not being able to have doggy style sex. Again there are many things we can’t do after transitioning natal women can. Be thankful for what you do have.
There’s tons to unpackage here, no pun intended.
A) Are you passable? I mean really passable? I find those who are and THEN get the surgery are far happier than those who believe transition is all about genitals. It’s not.
B) It’s hard to accurately know what surgeon and what technique they used. If you went to a surgeon with lack luster results, then hell yeah I’d be pissed, depressed, and regretting I went through it.
I’m extremely thankful I went to Dr. Min Jun. Everything is perfect. Sensation I felt 2 weeks after, even had orgasms. Things have gotten better and better.
He is a master at what he does compared to all others offering Peritoneal. Dr. BBL & Dr. Zhao are great too.
C) Every person leading up to the surgery had doubts and a “wtf am I doing?” moment. That’s natural. That extends afterwards post recovery as you heal up.
That lessens after if your results are healthy, good, and exactly what you want aesthetically. And functionality.
D) Were you a top? And enjoyed it? Probably shouldn’t have gone through with it.
I agree, society shouldn’t be the reason why you get it. That’s a personal decision. SRS/GCS does not fix all your issues surrounding gender.
Life still goes on. You can feel confident with your new genitals, it cis looking and all….but if a person still gets ridiculed, mocked, clocked in person because of other factors of their person….new genitals isn’t going to fix that.
I think this surgery is best for those who can easily assimilate into “mainstream” normy society. Its kinda boring, but for some, it’s more preferred.
Some girls are happy having male genitals. Others are not and have crippling dysphoria, sometimes obvious and conscious, othertimes subconscious and not obvious.
I know your feelings, from a certain point of view. I've resigned my therapy, but before the knives. I thought I was M/F. Lived in that dream and also believed in it in my all heart. Sometimes I feel also like I should do it, but from that time I've learned that I never had very strong dysphoria. Yeah, I still believe that inside my head there is not a boy or now a man. But the shell is still a man. And sometimes I dream about body change, but not like now after a lot of surgeries, but from male body into female body by mind data transfer or so.
This is my biggest fear. Maybe it's cuz I don't look at vaginas in a sexual way 🤔 but like I really want bottom surgery and yet every time I see a picture of som9ne who's has SRS I just am like that doesn't look like vaginas to me or like it looks weird or nasty. Not in a I think it's not womanly just... like I'm not a lesbian and have been with very few women and rarely every watch porn with a vaginas in it. And so i just don't have alot of experience 😕 but like I'm so afraid I'll just end up with something I'll hate just as much as my dick.
Your experience is valid. I'm sorry that you need to defend yourself in the comments. Thank you for sharing
No one is saying the OP's feelings aren't valid. They are. No one is ganging up on her or backing her into a corner. It's just a discussion about post-surgery regret. This is an important topic, because we see this happen and it can be a challenge to open good dialog.
I honestly could care less about their judging ass. I seen it coming.
Honestly an important message
Before SRS, I was thinking that I am not gonna use that canal, so let's do zero depth and have less headache. I'm sure I never will have intercourse, but someone told me "don't think about others, focus what you want only" She was right.i ignored every human on the earth and I noticed that I don't want to be a woman thar always feels something is missing (vaginal canal) and feel disability. So for the sake of myself, I did Vaginoplasty.
Just to clarify…..my intention with this post of me sharing my experience is not for stopping anyone from getting srs. If that’s what you really want go for it 100%. Just don’t get it for the wrong reasons. I just thought I shared my personal experience since not a lot of people speak on this matter and I think it’s important to create awareness.
Actually, you didn't share your experience, you just ranted about regretting that you got GRS because you miss your old genitals.
It took you a long time to get yourself into that situation leading to and having surgery. It just feels like you're yelling at everyone to --avoid doing exactly what you did.
Seriously, these are difficult issues for people to consider. No one wants you to feel miserable, now or in the future. Why is it you feel the world pushed you into it for starters? What does this mean for you moving forward? When did you transition and how long did that process take? When did you start thinking about surgery in the first place? What don't you like about your results? Could a different surgeon have made a difference?
And so on. If you want to help others avoid these pitfalls then really tell us about your experience and where it went off the rails.
If you are not strong enough to not let societal norms pressure you into doing something that you are not sure of, then you need to rethink your goals...
Thanks ms perfect! What does your comment contributes?
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Removed. Rule 1.
Sorry to hear it. All surgeries have a regret rate.
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