I figured out how to turn off beauty filter so you can see the scars as they actually look. They were very fuzzy in the other pics.
Surgeon was James Bellringer Parkside Hospital.
I have marked the pouch area that collects urine and that needs removing. This was caused by granulation at the fourchette that was treated with silver nitrate at 8 weeks. I was then told to leave it and that I did not require another visit to check if it was healing properly. It obviously didn't heal properly.
The inner labia look good. The outer labia look like testicle skin and stick out at a strange angle unlike cis labia Majora that surround the entrance and generally touch at the center / hide inside bits when the legs are together. Mine stay separated and look like small testicles. There is a spot on the left side that is very painful and while it cannot be seen there is a matching area on the opposite side that also hurts.
Scars are horrid and not improving. I couldn't massage them for the first two/ three months due to the pain and they have hard lumps underneath that itch.
Verry little clitoral sensation. Still cannot climax or really enjoy it much :(
Dilation is still every day for 20 minutes, hurts every time.
I have had to start douching again after stopping for a few months as it smells and white 'stuff' comes out on the dilators. Only dilators and sterile toys / lube so no idea why it smells so bad.
Visiting a different surgeon to fix the pouch fourchette issue and hoping they will cut out the scars and remove the excess testicle skin as well.
Mental health 3 / 10. Prescription drugs are helping.
***Edit I should add it looks greasy / moist as it's covered in bio oil to try and help with the scarring during the day. I use silicone scar strips at night but they fall off when I'm moving about. Im still doing everything I can to help the scars but nothing is working hence the revision surgery.
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. You have my care and love sent your way đź’›
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope the other surgeon will be able to help.
I'm so sorry about how badly you've been treated
I think I might know about why you were getting white stuff after not dilating, if that helps. Basically the skin of the vagina continuously dies and sheds (just like any skin on the body). In a natal vagina, it tends to find its way out moreso than in neo vaginas because there's an interconnected system that facilitates regular discharge - although natal vaginas likewise often need to be douched somewhat regularly to help maintain that. Whereas a neo vagina is more of a closed system so it needs either dilation or douching to get the skin out. I just know this bc my friends have noticed the same thing happens to them if they leave it a long while after dilating. White stuff that smells worse and worse the longer they leave it. They also both went with Bellringer
I hope this just helps you with one issue at least. I hope this other surgeon sorts out everything else. It's so unfair to get complications and then to be dismissed like that by Bellringer is awful
Thank you for letting me know. Do you know how often you friends douche ?
The aftercare booklet contradicts itself in several areas but from what I can gather it seems to indicate 'when necessary' which is no help whatsoever. Is that one a day, one a week, fortnight, month ? Honestly wish they would just make everything clear and give straight answers, I think half my problem is just being left in pain not knowing what I should have been doing in hospital and when I got home.
Yeah, "when necessary" is definitely a non-answer! How are you supposed to know when it's necessary??
One friend has settled in to doing it weekly or almost weekly, she's over 7 years post-op so she expects to be doing it at that rate forever. She reckons she could probably do it less often but doesn't want to risk it and she's used to it now. The other friend (just under 2 years post op) aims for fortnightly but I think she often leaves it longer - maybe every few weeks or so - bc she hates doing it
Another friend, but who didn't have Bellringer, does it monthly and she is also long-term post-op. Helpfully her surgeon actually told her to aim for monthly
Thank you so much for this !
I am going to aim for weekly now after what you have said. I was going to just not do it and let it clean itself, grow its own biome as a lot of other girls say they do but none of them had Bellringer as far as I know and I cannot live with the smell.
Thanks again x
I'm really glad I helped! :D Just don't use any kind of soap when douching and the microbiome should maintain itself
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Thanks for this. I haven't heard of v-beam before, I will do some research.
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Thanks.
I'm still hoping the other surgeon does a better job of closing it next time to be honest. Mine looked awful from day one compared work that she does. My stitches were large, far apart and there was skin and flesh puffing up between them. The ones she does are below the surface and I think the skin is either taped or glued to form a very close flat join in the skin.
This is outside my experience but it could be possible to get a scar revision. Can any others chime in?
Has the surgeon commented?
When I told the surgeon I was not happy with the scars his reply was 'well that's what you got'. He was very dismissive of all my issues and made me feel stupid for asking simple questions.
I have a consultation with a different surgeon in a few months to fix / remove the pouch. I am hoping they will agree to cut out the scars and remove the excess skin at the same time.
Bellringer's bedside manner is known to be quite bad, sadly. You're within your right to complain or report him. For a surgery that is in place to address dysphoria and requires skilled intervention, he is not meeting the requirements and letting people down.
As others have said, the main work looks good but, that he isn't able to understand his responsibilities, speaks poorly of his competence. He needs someone to supervise him.
I have submitted a formal complaint that's why the hospital have arranged a consultation with the other surgeon.
I can't beleive he gets away with being such a horrible person.
If/when my time comes and I have Bellringer, I intend to get everything in writing and hold him to account. If he believes he can't deliver, that would be a reflection on his own skill and competence.
Thank you for reporting him. : ] I'm confident the revision will come through for you.
Just don't go with him, what's the point of signing🤣 find the best reputable surgeon and wish for the best ;)
To my knowledge, there are very few surgeons the NHS funds. :] I'm inclined to go private yet again however.
Yeah, I can’t even bothered to take on the free nhs one. I will be self paid to Thailand. I think it’s worth it for long term for the sake of long term transition and mental health :)
It's the aftercare that prevents me from travelling too far afield for this particular surgery. I've seen too many stories involving scenarios which require follow ups.
Aftercare is probably a lot better in Bank clinic compared to NHS (a week in hospital with inadequate pain meds and then “go to your GP” if any issues)
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Nope. A lot of them have reputable good care. I am planning to go Suporn clinic, have a look up on the feedback here about his clinic. I have not been there yet. But I got good feedback from the girls who went too.
I agree. Find a surgeon that you are confident with and trust. You deserve the absolute best. Much love to you.
The consent form that you sign before the operation pretty much let's him do whatever he wants to.
It includes waivers that cover all my issues plus others:
No clitoral sensation or total lots of clitoris Loss / necrosis of tissue including the vaginal vault Lack of depth Scarring Poor visual result Chronic pain Rectal fistula
Plus some others that I can't remember, we don't have a leg to stand on if we are unhappy. The only reason they even offered me a consultation with the other surgeon is because of a concerted effort of complaining and chasing them up every few weeks. If it doesn't get fixed I have already obtained legal advice on how to proceed but want to avoid that if at all possible.
You can’t hold a surgeon to account for this. No one has ever managed it and there’s plenty of terrible things that have happened around the world. And if you get a bad result you’ll have a tough time fixing it. You can pick a different surgeon and improve you chances.
Sad but true :/
I have done all I can by posting pictures of my result on here to let others know what it's actually like for some of us.
There is nothing I can do to improve his closing technique or the fact that he rushed mine and did a crap job. Im more interested in the trauma I had to endure post op that has left me with serious mental health issues. It could have been avoided and I have detailed what went wrong and how my issues should / could have been handled in my complaint.
Examples are the lack of bowl prep used as an excuse for no effective pain management, sedating me with pills rather than dealing with my pain for 4 nights in a row. No clear instructions on what I should be doing etc
I was also treated very badly by the surgeon when nobody else was in the room and I'm pretty sure / not going to write what I was going to here..... I have detailed what happened in my journal and the hospital records note what I was very upset (having a panic attack, suicidal and wanting to leave immediately even though I couldn't walk) after he had been in my room. The nurse even tried to make me think someone else had done it and not him, like I can ever forget his face. At the moment I'm just trying to get through it and do not want to damage my chances of a revision by pushing too hard to get him to explain his behaviour.
I'm sorry you experienced this, the man's clearly anti-social. He definitely needs to be managed.
I beleive thats Laura's job as head gender nurse. Unfortunately she can't be with him 24/7 to keep him under control, nothing against her but she shouldn't have to 'keep him on a short leash'.
I noted that Ms Rashid has a nurse with her on every visit and I felt much safer and reassured with her than I ever did with Bellringer. I mean there was even atmosphere between them on my 8 week check-up, totally unprofessional behaviour from him.
It was very obvious that their ideas of how to treat patients is also completely different and there was friction between both teams while I was there. Totally unacceptable from my point of view to see it and feel like I may not be getting the best care because of conflicting views of both teams. IMHO Ms Rashid aftercare / post op procedure was much better than Bellringers.
I'm starting to see that same conclusion forming too. Thank you for sharing your experience. Let us know what happens and I'm glad there is at least one strong ally there.
For what it’s worth, I’m adding all your posts to the wiki for others to see.
Thanks, if it helps one other person then it's worth it.
Didn't someone mention that he might be on the Spectrum? That may explain his communication style to some degree.
Even if he is there is no excuse for his behaviour especially when dealing with very vulnerable, scared girls that are in serious pain and have menopause symptoms because they have to stop HRT 4 weeks before surgery.
In normal life people can make accommodations for others who may have issues. When going through something so traumatic that ability goes out the window and it shouldn't be up to the patient to know and deal with him being horrible.
You obviously aren't accustomed to interacting with people who are neurodivergent. This is real life for all of us including the surgeon. The ASD is just speculation. No one has confirmed this to be true. However, like so many other nuances about surgeons, their personalities, willfull misgendering, and so on, what appears consistent are the negative descriptions of his communication style.
Those choosing him for surgery, should do so with this in mind.
Yes I saw this one too! It’s still the same in my opinion. The right hands could get rid of your scars and open up your labia and correct their position. And that would fix the urine issue too since your urethra is right above the canal. He didn’t pull the outer labia down far enough or he added stitches that didn’t need to be added. Clearly he was not paying attention or rushing. But don’t get discouraged, because I’ve seen way worse be transformed into beautiful results.
Thank you for your detailed reply. Unfortunately I cannot afford a private surgeon anywhere, least of all outside the UK :(
Im seeing a different NHS surgeon who has a much better closing technique but I doubt she will be able to improve it drastically. At this point I would just be happy with less scarring and not having to wear a pad all the time.
Just out of interest, how much do you think it would cost for the surgeon you recommended ?
I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble.
Visually, the outcome is stunning. Very pretty. I can identify scrotal tissue on mine as well, but since that's what it actually is, I' really don't care,
So how do you urinate? Is the area you labelled "pouch" actually a pouch that you have to empty? OMG.
What sort of remedy is there for your clitoris? More surgeries? What sort of explanation did your surgeon give you about it not being sensate?
Hang in there. I'm so ad that such a wonderful procedure has been so disappointing for you.
Many blessings....
I know it's scrotal tissue but its the shape and quantity of it, again it's very hard to show in a photo but some of my other photos show it better.
The pouch is in front of the vaginal entrance so when I urinate it runs down into the pouch and collects there. I can get most of it out with toilet tissue by standing up bending forward and applying pressure to it but not all of it comes out. If I don't sit with my legs very spread open / more than 90 degrees then sometimes the large labia funnel even more urine in there and occasionally it enters the vagina. It's more common now within a few hours of dilating as the skin stays slightly relaxed making it easier for urine to enter.
There is no remedy that I know of to increase clitoral sensation. Again my surgeon was very dismissive of my issues and I have lost all trust in him after he lied to me on several occasions including surgery duration, he said two hours, my paperwork says 75 minutes.
It doesn't look pretty to me. All I see are scars that remind me of the trauma I have been through and the constant background pain is driving me crazy.
TWO HOURS to do a vaginoplasty? Or worse: 75 minutes????
Excuse me: I just blew part of my cheese sandwich out of my nose. It hurts.
My surgery lasted five hours, and I had a shallow depth procedure.
Where is Parkland Hospital? Is that the same place in Dallas where President. Kennedy died?
I have never heard of a vaginoplasty taking two hours--and certainly not an hour and 15 minutes.
How much did you know about this dude before he operated? Does he have any sort of reputation in your city (Dallas?)
Personally, the scars look like they hurt, and you say they do--but the aesthetics of your organ is top notch. But that is MY opinion
If he really did that surgery as quickly as he says, then I think there's a huge amount of malpractice issues, because it's obvious he paid no attention to mitigating possible pain centers. Were there other docs in the OR?
I had a separate urinary plastic surgeon who handled my urethra placement, and made sure that I can pee normally through a shortened tube.
I don't know what else to say, except I do believe you should explore legal action. I think your wounds will heal nicely, and again , I think the organ itself is quite lovely.
But if pain lingers, and if your clit remains unresponsive, then I think you have a case.
God, I feel so badly for you!!!
It's Parkside hospital in London, UK.
From the time I went under to waking up in recovery was 75 minutes and it states that on the anesthetist and recovery nurse paperwork.
The surgeon has done a few thousand of these operations so even though I had heard some negative experiences they seemed to be in the minority. Unfortunately he just rushed mine and I have to live with the consequences. He was the only surgeon in the room.
Legal action is my last resort if the other surgeon cannot fix it.
I am sooooo sorry for you, sweetie. What a fucking nightmare.You really need to have a conversation about this guy with the British Medical Board. What he did to you is unconscionable. There has to be some sort of reckoning for this monster.... Have you thought about going to the media? London papers would love it, but it would also be very hard on you emotionally. I'd do it because I'm a life-long shit disturber. At any rate, I hope everything works about for you.
No I wouldn't go to the media.
Trans people have it hard enough without me publicly complaining about my GRS surgery. The TERFs and bigots would just use it against us and I do not want more hastle for us. I think some people are happy with their result from this surgeon, he just rushed mine and did a crap job. If I went to the papers and he quit because it became public I would be the most hated person in the country :/
Valid points all. I understand your reluctance to go public. But some of the dynamics in the UK are different than here in the US.
As a former television news person, and a radical feminist, after my own surgery heals a bit, I'm going to ramp up my political presence and start speaking out on trans issues.
A lot.
For me, what happened to you is monstrous and criminal. My sense is that in this country, stories like this need to be told. Written about.
Who to do that? Me.I do that to a certain extent now, and I plan to be even more so in the near future. I am going be the Trans Chick Bitch--first in Northern California and then maybe--who knows.
I WILL NOT BE QUIET!!!
I now write a column on my trans journey for a non-profit online journalism collective called the reporters inc. It is angry, and XXX, and written for white assholes who have never met a transgender person--on purpose.
check it out at www.thereportersinc.org .
More to come. I'll keep you my thoughts. I hate it when our community is fucked over. I pray you somehow can find find peace with the hand you were dealt, and I so hope a competent surgeon can provide remedy.
Many blessings.
Parkside Hospital is in the UK, by the way. (Not OP, just also from the UK)
That “pouch” should be an easy fix. I had a similar issue and had a revision to solve it. 100% good now.
It looks really pretty except for the scars! And there’s many different types of treatment for the scars out there
All that being said its a great outcome! Looks great.
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