I'm trying to find the reminder post in one of these subreddits that articulates my feelings well but I can't. I don't mean to say you were being hurtful on purpose, but it's someone's body you're asking about, and I don't really know what to tell you if you feel I simply took your comment out of context.

No one is taking anything out of context. What you said was rude, you don’t need to be combative of that. If someone is taking their time to correct you because what you said could hurt someone who went through a tough procedure then learn from it.

What you could have done is ask for consent to ask a rough question maybe by dm since it’s immensely personal and their choice to make any of this public. That way you can give them a chance to either answer your question or not without being hurt by your words.

It’s not that hard to understand that someone going through a procedure like this could be left very sensitive and post op mental health is very important since many people struggle after most surgeries. It’s just common etiquette for this sub fyi

If it’s not on the sidebar or pinned, I feel it should be tbh