I had an orchi years ago and I've had multiple surgeries since then and I get depressed following anesthesia and surgeries in general. I'm not sure that is what you're going through but I'd definitely give it more time. After FFS I was a mess but I'd do it all over again if I had to. Take care of yourself in the short term and wait a bit.

I know it's not the same, but my experience as a trans masc person after top surgery was pretty similar emotionally. I felt relieved the first few days, and was absolutely sure I wanted surgery beforehand. Sometime during recovery though, I think a week or two in, I definitely had a reaction of feeling a lot of confusion, depression, and not quite regret but anxiety and fear. I remember distinctly having a crying breakdown in my backyard, and honestly it helped to let myself get hysterical and feel all those feelings. They're just emotions, emotions come and go like clouds sometimes, and my emotional weather shifted back to it's norms after I let myself experience those moments. It doesn't make you less trans, and it isn't abnormal. You lived parts of your body for years and now they're gone, it's okay to have any amount of mixed feelings about that. Sometimes the immense strain the body is under during recovery, or how some bodies react to anesthesia or pain medications, can definitely intensify those feelings. Trust you knew yourself well enough when you made the decision for this surgery, and it's okay to have some spikes in your emotional weather as you're in the vulnerable recovery phase.

I haven’t got my surgery yet but maybe you are so used to dysphoria that now as it’s gone you have problems justifying this procedure to yourself.

I think that it’s okay to feel a loss over a body part that you had for your whole life. It was always there with you and now that it’s gone I can understand that you feel… sad. I have really bad dysphoria but I know that after surgery I will be melancholic about this.

Let yourself be sad about this. While it totally reliefs your dysphoria it’s not coming without drawbacks. Now that you know with certainty that you will never have biological children it makes sense to feel the way you feel. And that’s okay. It will get better I’m sure. :)

Hey I’m a trans man who had a full hysterectomy with a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (everything “female” gone) about 8 months ago.

I always knew I NEVER wanted to carry a biological child. Mostly for dysphoria reasons. I always told myself if I got preg I would off myself. Luckily I never had to deal with that (surprisingly). I know one day it would be nice to adopt an older child to get them out of the system and into a safe, loving home. Since older children/teens are usually just stuck until they’re old enough to leave on their own. But anyways, directly after my hysto, I immediately felt all this weight lifted off my shoulders. To this day, my bipolar and PTSD are more manageable due to hormones no longer clashing in my body. However, for a month or two after the initial month post op.. I found myself saddened and afraid that one day, I might have wanted to use my eggs, even if not to carry a child myself, someone else could for me. I feel like it’s honestly just the brains way of recognizing that having biological children is something you can’t do anymore. It’s hard wired into our brains to WANT to have kids, and some cis people never have thoughts of wanting kids until they learn they can’t. It just fucks with your brain.

Honestly, it would make me very happy to have a bio kid or two with my partner (MtF).. but it’s not something we can ever do. She doesn’t want kids because she has a genetic disorder that is very debilitating as well as skeletal issues.. it’s not something either of us would feel good passing onto someone who has no choice of being born into this world. Along with that, I have multiple serious mental health issues, along with type one diabetes that both my brother and my half brother also have. It just doesn’t feel right putting that all onto a kid who didn’t ask to be born.

"What if I want bio children"

Then do some soul searching and figure out why your dna being passed on matters. There is nothing wrong with adoption... to quote Mewtwo

I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant; it is
what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.

You just rocked your endocrine system. You'll have some lethargy for sure. It can feel depressing during this time, but you'll bounce back.

I'm curious to know your age? I'm 55 and have never had children and gave up on that decades ago plus I never wanted any other than for selfish reasons for someone to put flowers on my grave but I've come to terms with that now also and am speeding right along on HRT right behind you and can not wait until srs and to me this is the most correct thing I feel I have ever done in my life and haven't looked back. And my T=0 zero which I need to bring up a few points so I know having absolutely zero T hasn't changed a thing with how I feel other than all good stuff and maybe to you you reached the point of no return and that's mind fkg you a little bit and for me I feel like I had better hurry up and get on with this before I reached an age to achieve transition and now that's all I strive for. I have heard no matter how prepared you are for GSR of any kind you will have a degree of post op depression and this has been from DR's saying to expect this because it will happen to some degree and some people will have it more than others but to hang in there and report it to the Dr. And you will get past it.

Hang in there girl, talk to your Dr. If need be they expect this and are prepared to help you get through this don't be the tuff girl on your own. Praying for you. Thanks for sharing that shows strength in itself.

I regret the surgeon I chose and I wish I had waited longer till now b/c there’s more advanced techniques